Friday, December 22, 2006

I Just "love" People

Oh my God, is it Christmas Break yet? I don't think I can handle one more second of this. 34 minutes and counting.

ps. I just "love" people who have absolutely no sympathy for others when they are sick and yet expect love and comfort when they themselves are sick. You reap what you sow buddy.

pps. I think that should be the new name of my blog. I Just "Love" People.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

No Hard Feelings

What's with this mistaken impression that people have about my internet thoughts being "secret" or "hidden"? Dave's got the same thing going on that the blog lurkers have where they think they've "found me out" somehow. It's the interweb people and I am, in fact, not an idiot. I do, in fact, realize that things I write on my blag or other people's blags are out there for people to read. That's why I don't say things that I wouldn't want people to read. If I don't want people to know I said something I post anonymously (Celine Dion comment what?).

But Dave's comment begs a question. Should I phone the Artistic Director of the theatre company producing each and every show I go see to tell them my opinion of their work? Doesn't seem appropriate somehow. Now, had I run into Dave in the lobby after the show and he had asked my opinion, would I have told him? Of course I would have, at length if he was truly interested. As anybody who knows me is aware I'm not exactly shy with the opinions, be they good or bad.

There's another issue here that nags at me in my everyday life. This came up at the fateful meeting last night where people felt some adjudications were too "mean". For example the comment that was something like that actor really shouldn't sing. And some people in the room were all "oh, that's so cruel. they're just having fun, etc, etc,". Meanwhile I'm thinking if she can't sing then she probably shouldn't be in a musical. If you lack the talent for something, let's use singing as an example, I don't think you should do it. Seriously. Some people will never be able to sing. So don't. Not publicly anyways. When you're in the shower or your own home or alone in the office, sure, belt it out honey. But there's no way that someone who can't sing should be cast in a musical and inflicted upon an audience of paying customers. They are paying to hear someone sing.

Do you get my point? And ultimately, don't you think people would be better off finding their talent rather than bashing their head against their particular brick wall whether it be singing, acting, dancing, or whatever.

Anyways...I guess that's a bit off the current topic. A different rant for a different day.

I definitely struggle with community theatre in general. I would say about 75% of it is really not very good (or shitty, if you will). And alot of that not very good could be fixed with some attention to detail, organized rehearsal time, adequate rehearsal time, and understading the priorities of quality show production. If I'm remembering the correct show I believe The Graduate suffered from the fatal flaw of extremely long scene changes. Pacing, pacing, pacing people. You fuck up the pacing you usually ruin the piece. So I guess I'm trying to address that through the adjudication process, which is why I contribute to that (hopefully) more useful function (as opposed to the Catties).

And, in conclusion, (anonymous, I hope you're checking back and approving of my paragraph structure and general punctuation and grammer) I would like to have a bitchy moment. Megs, please don't take offense for the following, you know I love your mad blagging skillz. I'm not the one who went out of my way to post a blag entry about a show I saw and didn't like. I merely commented and agreed with an already stated opinion. So I was...bemused...to find myself the object of a lengthy diatribe whilst Megan escaped apparently unscathed. Perhaps this is another of Megan's mad skillz, escaping unscathed. Crafty girl.

Good Lord I need to go to bed. Two blag posts in one day? I can't handle this level of activity!!

ps. I really "love" it when people say things like "no hard feelings" after saying deliberately scornful, cutting or hurtful comments. yeah, no hard feelings on your part maybe.

pps. No hard feelings!

Really Graphic Sex Dreams

CTAC Meeting: (name adjusted to protect identity)
It's a good thing they only happen every few months because each brings it's own unique brand of frustration. Nothing gets done, nothing gets followed up on, nothing is every achieved. Alright, occasionally something gets done, but it's like pulling teeth. Perhaps if they accepted the fact of their declining membership and connected the dots as to why!! Ah well, the usual suspects can continue to pat each other on the back and produce sub-standard light shows (industry name adjusted to protect identity).

On another note...a disturbing trend has emerged. Following this and the previous CTAC meeting I had really graphic sex dreams. The first involved an older, pudgier, baldier dude who I find quite revolting. He's revolting in both the looks department and the personality department. Last night I had another dream, also about a pudgier, baldier dude who I also find extremely off-putting in the looks and personality department.

This one had the additional weirdness of a menage a trois aspect, with Mr. Rose playing the third role. But the core of the dream was really this amazing sex with a guy I don't really like. I don't even passionately dislike him, I just think he's a sad, pathetic, loser. So what the heck is this dream about? And why so graphic? I remembered it down to penis size and the specific things he was moaning into my ear. And where was I getting that penis info from? I've never seen that guys penis. Why did my subconcious mind endow him with the perfectly sized and textured penis?

The creepy good-sex-with-unappealing-person dream. *shudder* Where do they come from? And why, why do I have them after CTAC meetings?

Friday, November 17, 2006

*whine*

Okay, so I'm at home yesterday feeling truely terrible. One of those sinus colds that puts so much pressure inside your head you can't think enough to remember your own name. So, I'm achy, grumpy, and extremely whiny. Two thoughts cheered me up.... 1. I was now free to cease thinking and could simply lie on the couch moaning and 2. I had the perfect opportunity to watch Love Actually. Because, while moaning is fun and all it does tire after an hour or so and then I want to watch some pretty pictures on the magic screen across from the couch.

I get settled in with my giant blue fluffy blanket, a box of kleenex, and a large glass of half orange juice half gingerale. I go into the office to grab the disc only to find....it is not on the shelf. I look on the shelf behind the other L movies, no Love Actually there either. I check the DVD folder, no Love Actually there. I search the tv cabinet, no Love Actually there. There is no copy of Love Actually residing in my house anywhere!!

Which brings me to this conclusion.....I loaned somebody my copy of Love Actually and they have not returned it!!!! This is why I hate loaning my shit to people. It's not loaning, apparently, so much as it is giving away my stuff. Which is a shitty deal really, if someone came into my house and asked "Hey, can I have your copy of Love Actually?" I could say no, but when someone asks "Hey, can I borrow your copy of Love Actually?", all of a sudden I'm socially obligated to comply with their request. The people who say no when you ask to borrow stuff are categorized as bitches, you know it's true.

I want my fucking copy of Love Actually back!!!

*whine*

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

A Lonely Life

Well since my obsession with rolling shit into a ball has cooled a bit, I figured I'd better post. Have I mentioned lately that I hate all humans? No? Wow, I've been quite the model of restraint.

Now, don't even get me started on Tall, Dark and Loser. He grows more creepy and off-putting with each passing day. Now he's started hitting on the other girls at work, in a creepy-he's-tall-ugly-and-married sort of way. Thankfully he doesn't try his psuedo-flirting with me, probably due to my combination of fatness and scathing glares. Hard to say which puts him off more. He's slowly beginning to fill every stereotype I have about men of his race, I hate it when that happens. He's taken to telling me what to do (as if I don't already know or he was in a position to do so) sometimes while I am actually doing that task. For example, "Amanda, you need to cut up a lemon" he will say as I'm standing at the counter cutting up a lemon. What the fuck does it look like I'm doing!!!!! you enormous, sloppy bag of douche. And I just loooove the people who try bossing you around while they sit on their fat asses doing nothing. Fuck you Dude!!!

And then there's the customers who get all pissed off at you when they are ultimately in the wrong. In my world the customer is not always right, the person who is actually correct is right. I'm sorry that your age has rendered you incapable of understanding anything at all. Or wait, I'm not sorry...because for every cranky fucking senior I have to deal with there are 25 other seniors who don't seem to have lost the ability to listen to and follow simple instructions. Just because you're old doesn't give you the right to be an asshole!

Although, secretly....I look forward to being an asshole when I'm a senior. I'll be old, I will have earned the right to be openly bitchy to anyone who dares cross my path. It'll be a lonely life, sure....but that's what cats are for right?

Monday, October 16, 2006

A Milestone

Wow, I thought this day would never come. I'd like to take this moment to thank everyone who has supported me over the past 6 months, you know who you are non-lurkers. I'd also like send a special thank-you to Megan, without her I never would have gotten where I am today....

my 50th blog entry, truly a milestone.

A special moment in every young girls life. If only I had a digital camera with me, or I actually cared...I would photograph this moment and keep that picture in my wallet...alas, I have neither and so this entry will have to suffice as proof of this momentous occassion.

In other news, Mr. Rose and myself made the (questionable?) decision to purchase a new video game this weekend. Let me just say that We totally Heart Katamari. After spending four hours this weekend rolling stuff up into a ball, all I could think was...."and here I've wasted years of my life on things like reading, conversation, theatre, and movies when I could have been rolling stuff up into a ball."

So farewell faithful friends, while I have enjoyed knowing you these past years I'm afraid it's time to end. I just don't have a moment to spare on anything that isn't rolling stuff up into a ball. I'll think of you fondly everytime I roll an alarmed looking human up into my ball. That one looked a little Kirsten I'll mutter to myself as I roll along my merry way.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Blog Lurkers

Things at the new job have settled a bit. Definately not the horror of my first weekend...though I still have to contend with some fairly obnoxious folks. Tall, Dark and Loser being my least favorite dude right now. But losers will always be losers, I pity him more than I dislike him.

But the real point of my post...blog lurkers. You know who you are people. Those people who read your blog but never comment. What's the deal with that? I mean, if you're cruising by and checking out the material, don't you think you should leave a footprint? Not all the time, sure, but all of a sudden you're talking to some acquaintance and they reference your blog...weird.

My blogging was just interrupted by some working. It's totally thrown me off my stride though, I had a whole thing worked up about the lurkers but then a parent called with a complaint. le sigh, parents...so hard to satisfy, so convinced their child is superior, so willing to let their children bail on a commitment.

drifting off....

what a disappointing conclusion.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

10 Days...

Last night I saw the best piece of theatre I can hope to see all season. If you want to see a show that will produce a genuine laugh and then turn around and rip your heart out, I highly recommend 10 Days on Earth. Of course, there's all this Burkett-hype...if you're even slightly plugged into the scene you will have heard the hype...and they hype, she is so rarely a good thing.

I will admit that the thought of a 2 hour long show with no intermission was a bit off-putting...and it doesn't help that it just screams diva. I figured the hype was going to come crashing down at about the 90 minute mark when I found myself uncomfortable, bored, and needing to pee. I did find myself needing to pee (damn my tiny bladder) but this show, this man is so utterly captivating that I could have probably sat through it again twice without getting up.

If I could go see this show every night it was running I would. I wish I could burn every moment into my brain. The most tragic thing about this show (and all his other shows) is that they can never be reproduced, ever. Only he can do these shows so when he's done with them, that's it...they're over.

So run people, don't walk, down to ATP to see the most genuine piece of theatre I have seen in years. And take lots of tissues...if you aren't crying by the midpoint it likely means you have no soul. My heart still hurts.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Best Mall Trip Ever!

I had the best mall trip ever the other night. I need new shoes for "the job", I decided I need to give a crack at it on non-crippling shoes and a full stomach and see how it goes. So I park at the mall, as it turns out right near the shoe store I want to go to. I cruise in, check out the stock, pick out two pairs that look like they might work....black, flat but still a bit dressy looking....figuring if those fail I'll just say fuck it and buy black sneakers. First pair is a bit tight, second pair fits perfectly....right on, head up to the till, remember my 20% off coupon, slap it down, pay for the shoes and I'm out. Remember I need vitamins and cat food, debate going home but decide to pop into the Zellers next door. Vitamins and cat food are right by the door, grab a new lipgloss and a 99 cent Kids in the Hall movie on the way out.

Perfect. Two errands, One Mall, 45 minute Round Trip. All shopping experiences should be so good.

Terribly bland update, terribly bland.

I'm thinking Chuck E Cheese for the upcoming birthday celebration. Thoughts?

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Holy Shit I'm Whiney

So fucking whiney. Now, the actual job itself (the new one) isn't so bad. But the coworkers...especially the ugly guy Megan was pity-flirting with. Just because I'm new and he's been around is apparently enough reason for him to force me to carry 6 fucking trays (heavy) up and down a flight of stairs. Fuck you Skinny Asshole! Yes, not a very clever name I'll give you...but he is kind of...one of those guys whose saying really nasty, degrading things to you but in a "sarcastic" way so it's suddenly okay.

I am a short, fat little girl. Why in God's name am I working a shift with 6 tall, buff men and being forced to carry the majority of the heavy stuff? Fuck that shit, fuckers.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I fucking hate my new fucking job.

And forced socializing? Oh, you better believe it happened last night. Trapped by my desire to get my fucking tip out. I think I would have rather abandoned the $50 just to get the hell out.

Let's see if I can manage to get through my shift tonight and not leave in tears. Oh yeah, I am that big of a pussy.

wah!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Sudden Realization....

In theory I start my new second job on Thursday. I still haven't heard about my schedule from the boss-like guy. I say boss-like because he's clearly uncomfortable with authority and will be too nice to lay the smack down on laziness.

The actual job itself will be fine, I'm sure, once I get used to it. It's a fairly low-key gig. I have a sense of impending doom about my future co-workers though. The downside of the low-key gig is that it does involve a ton of time standing around waiting for a brief period of intense business. That means upwards of 2 hours of small-talk per shift with people I inevitably won't like very much.

I already hate Party Dude from our meet n' greet session. "Dude, I'm totally a visual learner. I have to do something to learn it"....ummmm...so what you're saying is that you're a tactile learner? Idiot! And don't forget the ever charming "Dude, I'm not even going to bother learning your name 'cause I'll just forget it again." Nice. Looking forward to working with you too numbnuts.

Other fat girl had potential but she was totally getting sucked into Party Dude's "cool zone". Right now I'm pinning all my hopes onto fellow theatre dweeb, nerdy-looking enough that he should be able to carry on a conversation about something other than paaaaaaaartying!

Oh, horror! Sudden realization....will these people expect me to be social with them after work hours? Quick! Escape strategies needed!!!!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Squandered Summers

wah! Summer is over :(

The weird thing about working in the arts is that you really feel the change too. It's almost like going back to school, except without the new back-to-school clothes. If you don't count the new pants, three new shirts, and one enviably awesome pair of brown oiled leather Mary-Jane-esque shoes.............sorry, just had to have a moment with my shoes there.

I, too am firmly in the camp of squandered summers. Particularly embarassing given my reduced working hours during the summer months. With my additional time off I managed to do more shopping. Does that count as being productive?

Seriously though, I made this list in June of 5 or 6 semi-major around the house projects to complete over the summer. I completed exactly 0 of these projects. Frankly, I didn't even manage minor projects such as lawn mowing. Man, I hate mowing the lawn...always have, it's totally the worst chore.

So anyways, I'm making up for my lackadaisical summer by being waaaaay too busy between now and September. So let's see...first I have my regular 9-5 job with minimal amounts of overtime between now and December. Second is piano lessons on tuesday nights and pottery class on thursday nights. Then I've got a volunteer coordination gig with a commitment of one night every two weeks and about 1 - 2 hours per week maintenance. Also signed up to sit on a board with a fairly low time commitment of 1 - 2 nights per month. So seeing how many gaps I had in my schedule I went out and got a second job to fund my trip to Greece, so extra work definately Friday and Saturday nights, potentially Wednesday nights and likely Sunday afternoons.

Add to that all the free theatre I could possibly want to see and then some and....shit, I'm going to be exhausted by the time Christmas comes.

How long until next summer?

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Headbutted in the Armpit

I had a whole rant worked up but then Arwen just came up and headbutted me in the armpit before crawling (purring) into my lap. How can I possibly rant with an Arwen in my lap? So, perhaps being a crazy, lonely, old cat-lady wouldn't be so bad? And if you had 10 you'd be pretty much guaranteed to have a cat in your lap at all times.

hmmm...my cat appears to have dandruff.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

I Hobnobbed...with Celebrities

Ah, the Catties. Now I did hear rumour that there was another bitter table last night. Not bitter about award wins/losses of course, just bitter in general...and contemptous of our peers. We have our Fat Calves, they have their Princess D.

To sum up the night...I delivered an awkwardly nervous In Memoriam piece on a man I had never met, I was bored, I was happy about one man's loss, I was offended by who I lost to (no that I lost mind you, just who took the award instead of me), I was bored, I wondered about the fashion sense of people over 40, I wished someone had worn sleeves, I was bored, I was drunk after one beer (I hadn't had dinner ok???), I did the rounds, I congratulated him without throwing up, I actually agreed that she has fat calves, I surled, I hobnobbed with celebrities, I fondled Megan's tits (twice!), I recieved a "supersonic hug", I fondled two asses, I avoided one awkward conversation, I confessed someone else's secret crush (with permission), I had my boob bitten, I was overshadowed by 22 year old tits, I had the best fucking ham and cheese sandwich at 3am ever.

And there's no way I'm dragging my ass out next year.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Sound and Fury

Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

I'm going on vacation now.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I Hit the Delete Key, Smiling

You know how people are always sending you those chain emails. Man, I hate those so much. I got this particularly soppy one today about our troops in (insert country American's have leveled in past two years). I was actually smiling when I hit the delete key, smiling.

People take those things so seriously, which is ridiculous. What exactly do people think they're accomplishing? Other than irritating their vague acquaintances in their address book. Squashing their hope that I will send their email on to 13 friends in the next 15 mintues actually satisfies me, my day is a little bit better for having received and deleted their crappy email.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Judge-y McJudgerson

I may have ranted this all out earlier...but I'll give it a go for Megan's sake.

So, I know this guy, Angry Dan (that's what Mr. Rose calls him anyways). So he's a case study in desperation. Really sub-par playwright, mostly because he doesn't seem to have original ideas he just steals everything from movies. His plays are usually a couple of movies squished together so it can be hard to piece together sometimes but you can usually find most of it. Anyways, like most "artists" doomed to failure he's really giving it his all, but really...doomed to fail. I mean, I can at least get behind people with talent...but the talentless? They should put more effort into finding their talent.

Anyways, this is all totally second-hand since he doesn't actually make eye contact with me, let alone spare the breath on words...but the latest skinny is that he's moving into some condo that his parents bought for him. Not just made a downpayment on, bought outright. I guess that movie projectionist salary wasn't really working out for him. So, I'm thinking...this is pretty pathetic. Then I find out he has a new job...a fancy professional writing job...at his Dad's company. Yes, that's right, Daddy is President and CEO (and in general a very well-respected man).

So here's a guy who really hasn't done much with his life. He decided to turn himself around. So he goes to Mummy and Daddy for a job and a new place to live. This is totally how old-fashioned wealthy people operate.

Clearly I'm all Judge-y McJudgerson about this. Oh what a loser, can't do anything by himself, etc so on and so forth. But then I'm like...what am I doing saving money to buy a house like a chump, putting effort into previous job searches...really, if I was just handed everything wouldn't I take it?

Would I take it? Would you take it? I mean, honestly...if there were no strings attached, would you take it? Are you really a better person for working for it? What if you spend the time that you didn't spend working for those things doing something important. Like creating art. Yeah, he's a bad playwright now but who's to say what could happen. Since he's not weighed down with everyday concerns about financial security he's in the right frame of mind to pursue his "craft".

ps. completely unrelated note...my cousin called me back only two days after I initially called him. I think it's a record!!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

I Should be Loving Life, Right?

Throughout the regular theatre season I end up accumulating some overtime at work doing training, festivals, etc. Since it's like pulling teeth to have my job covered during this time I end up saving it all up for the summer when I'm only doing project work. So I have the enviable summer of long-weekends. Every Friday off for July and August.

I should be loving life, right? If you know me at all though you'll see this begin to slowly drive me insane. Now, the fact is that I have way less to do in the summer months and four days a week is enough time to finish all my work. So it's not like I'm going mad becuase the work is piling up and I'm forced to take all this time.

Tragically...I'm not a good relaxer. So what happens is that on my extra day off I end up doing all the errands normally assigned to weekend time. So when the weekend proper rolls around...I'm at a loss. Not to metion the weekday evenings that are suddenly void of pottery, piano, and various theatre-based commitments. These factors combine to create an extremely whiny me (lord help the man who married me, only you know how he plans to put up with me for the rest of his life).

sidebar: I love how I talk to the Lord as if that was something I believed in. I need to come up with some other higher power to address things to.

Anyways, what ends up happening is that I spiral into despair about how empty and shallow and devoid of meaning my life is. I mean, really, what's my point? What will I see when I look back on my life 40 years from now? So, then I consider having children...

they would fill the time...

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Someone with Savvy

Seriously, community theatre and I need to make a clean break. I am so filled with rage and bile right now. This really just isn't worth it. My volunteer work shouldn't make me feel this way. But I do love it when people with absolutely no marketing background or even marketing savvy...because I really would settle for savvy.....hold on, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I would settle for savvy just because I really like the word savvy...I love typing it...savvy...all those v's. delish.

Anyways, some people don't have an background per se...but they do have savvy...so if someone with savvy made some suggestions to me on ad copy I would probably perk up and listen. But what they don't seem to understand about copy is that it needs to be engaging...engaging!!

Excuse me while I go on a muderous rampage. I'm on the lookout for something kind of like a hammer...but not quite, bigger perhaps...with a broader head. I'll take wooden or rubber, really, what ever is available.

I'm done!!!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

I'm Done Volunteering

Once again my efforts to do something positive and useful have been waylaid by an idiot. Let me ask you a simple question. If you do not consider your theatre company to be community theatre (and I think community theatre has a very clear definition) then why, dear lord why, are you a member of an alliance of community theatres?

Look, community theatre is made up of people who are pursuing theatre as a hobby. They aren't being paid...or at least they're not being paid enough to even begin to consider quitting their day jobs. And while some of them may have aspirations of going professional, let's be realistic...that transition doesn't really happen.

I shouldn't rant any more about this...lest I offend some artist's delicate sensibilities. Jerks, the lot of them. That's it! (she proclaims...again) I'm done volunteering for these chumps! (damn it, I know I'll be back...trying to fix them, trying to make them work.)

I hate myself.

Monday, June 26, 2006

A Burning Desire to Be A Spy

See, I told you this would happen. Oh the strain of keeping my blog updated. I'm the sort of person that gets really excited about a project, does a lot of planning, throws herself into the intial phases...but then eventually loses interest. But what, you may be asking, has replaced all other extra-curricular activities in my life?

Alias.

Now, as a general rule I don't like television. There are two reasons for this. The first is that most television is crap. I mean it, total crap. When you look back on your life 40 years from now do you really want one of your notable accomplishments to be that you watched 10+ hours of television a week. It is a waste of your life. The second reason is that I don't like being advertised to. Even though I'm concious and critical of advertising I still don't like it (stupid F150 episode of Alias).

So, TV shows on DVD helps alleviate those two reasons. It cuts out all the advertising, other than the highly obnoxious stuff embedded into the show..."quick Vaughn, the F150" lingering shot of F150 logo on truck...but it does cut out the commericals, which are arguably more obnoxious just based on quantity. Also, it allows me to seperate the wheat from the chaff in terms of programming. I find a show I like, I procure it (through entirely legal and legitimate means I'm sure), I watch it.

The downside? I get hooked on shows like Alias or Battlestar Galatica where the plots are very intense and the end of an episode is a cliffhanger more likely than not. So, I may go for weeks without watching anything...and then I watch 2 seasons of Alias in a week and a half.

Plus, even though the show is good I turn into one of those tvbot people, staring glassy eyed at the screen for hours on end. I wonder if people led more fulfilled lives before television? Or even before television became so pervasive? I like to think I keep a healthy balance of extra-curricular activities and other more intellectually active pursuits...but then I notice that two weeks have gone by and all I have to show for them is a major crush on Agent Michael Vaughn and a burning desire to be a spy.

A crushing realization to be sure. I think this entry has a moral, you know, to teach me a lesson about myself. Something about how judgemental I can be. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Too true Jesus, too true. I think I'll just slink back to my couch now...

previously on Alias....

Monday, June 19, 2006

Oh Dear God

Please God, hear my prayer. Save me from the hell that is a three-day Simply Accounting course.

'nuff said really.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Top 5

No specific reason for this post (obviously lying), just trying to think of something to write about and this happened across my brain (still lying, blog motivated by specific event).

Top 5 Things I Do NOT Want To Talk To My Co-Workers About

5. Finances - we all make different monies, why go there?
4. Banal Life Details - do they really want to know that I've switched to Herbal Essences shampoo? I think not
3. Where I am in my "cycle" - 'nuff said, really
2. Who I'm currently crushing on - sadly, no one at the moment...but if I do start crushing on someone my co-workers are never going to know

1. My visit to the sex toy store late Friday night - if I did indeed go to a sex toy store on Friday night and if I did indeed make a purchase, I'm just really not into having a discussion in the office about it, with my boss and other co-workers 5 feet away, I'm just sayin'. But thanks for that Megan, thanks for passing that info along...not awkward at all...you really got my back.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

A Beautiful And Rare Moment

I love reading people's blogs who really lay it all out there. The ones that just talk openly about this or that event or how someone let them down or how they let themselves down. When I run across an entry like that it just makes me happy, it's so much more interesting than some inane post about going to see a Blue Jays game.

The thing I love most is when someone else posts about an event I was at. This is a beautiful and rare moment, to see the same experience through someone else's eyes. So, as an example, Jody felt (apparently) that my friends and I were shooting her dirty looks all night at this party. huh. I wasn't aware. And now the question is...were we shooting her dirty looks and we just don't remember doing so or was she just assuming that's what we were going to do and so it became true in her mind?

The thing about Jody is, I don't really have anything against her. I certainly don't hate her just because one of my friends does. That being said, I never really liked her much. She's a bit bland, I never really got anything interesting out of her. Also, she's one of those girls who chases after guys who are involved. Or at least I, with my own eyes, watched her do that with one guy (the second guy it was more just a suspicion based on past actions). I don't like girls that chase attached boys, especially when they're attached themselves. It bugs me and I can't really respect someone after that. That being said, I've never been anything but polite to her. She hid from me on a balcony at a party because she was afraid of me, it was confusing to me at the time. I think now she realizes that the person actually likely to cause her physical harm is not me.

I do agree with her on one point though. The party was a bit sucky. It was so dark I couldn't even see who anyone was in their costumes. And there were all these different little cliques there so it was hard to mingle. Plus it was too loud and squishy so you couldn't even have an actual conversation anyways, just bland party speak. Lame-o. I did leave early, and was happy that I did.

Anyways, I know it makes people happy to know that other people care enough about them to talk about them...I wouldn't call this behind her back really, it is a public forum. And I could have said this all to her face if she wasn't so careful to keep a 10 foot clear zone around me. But there you have it, like anybody that I know vaguely Jody is on my occasional blog circuit. One day I hope everyone I know will have a blog and then I'll have all the time filler I'll ever need.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Nothing But Calm

That long weekend actually turned out okay. huh. So.....hmmmm. What to rant about...have I mellowed? I think theatre is bad for me, when I'm not all show-involved I'm totally more relaxed....

I have this friend that I only talk to over email. He lives on the other side of the world and I haven't actually seen him in the flesh for about 4 years now, which is actually a longer span of time than we knew each other face t0 face. Anyways, we used to have these epic email arguements about everything under the sun. He always wins, of course, which I attribute to his nearly-PhD'd status. People with philosophy degress can argue you under the table and I'm never quite sure at the end how it happened. sneaky bastards.

Anyways, recently our emails have been a really boring series of how are you? good, how are you? things. It's not that I'm not interested in his progress job-hunt wise, I totally am. And in some ways I really enjoy it becuase he can be a bit close about what's happening in his world. It's just that usually we would be ranting back and forth about something (in addition to tiny life tidbits)...or I would be moping/sobbing/whining about some aspect of my life. He's a wonderful therapist. But lately I haven't had anything to mope/sob/whine about, not really. I'm all even-keeled. Even right now at this very moment, nothing but calm. I am, temporarily at best, a calm blue ocean.

weirded out.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Looming Long Weekend

bleh. That's how I feel today. oh so...bleh. Perhaps it's the looming long weekend. I have nothing fabulous planned. Sure there's things here and there: a hike here, a craft project there...but really, nothing of consequence. I'm sensing a looong weekend of whining about how bored I am and at the same time being completely unwilling to do anything to alleviate my boredom. Oh yeah baby, that is the joy of the me.

Somehow someone has managed to stay married to me for 4 years. Amazing. I mean, obviously I'm a real wildcat in the sack, but who knew that was enough to keep a marriage together? (yes, I did just again laugh at my own joke. Sometimes I wonder if anyone else finds me funny. The written word, she does not carry the tonality my voice does). Shout out to my spouse for being oh so very tolerant.

I can't believe I just "Shouted Out" to someone. Megan can get away with that but I'm waaaay too old for that shit. Oops, I swore! Yet another episode that work-based blog checkers won't be able to read due to restrictive HR policies.

um...posse out?

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I Wore The Shirt

I don't actually have anything of interest to say. I was just reading my last post and I'm afraid I have to admit I laughed at myself. Yes, that's right, I laughed at my own joke. How sad is that? I can't help it, anytime I see the phrase "thanks for nothing" used in a situation where it is a genuinely applicable phrase I can't help but giggle.

I just want to clarify that the guy in question doesn't actually have a small penis. It really was just an example. Women totally go for the penis disparagement when a guy is being a dick, like this guy was being. So, seriously...I was joking.

Today I wore a shirt to work that has paint on it. Someone...I'm not naming names...forgot to set the alarm clock last night so I was a bit rushed this morning. I put on this red shirt wondering to myself...why haven't I worn this shirt recently? I assumed it was because it made me look fat like so many of my clothes do (because I am fat, it's not the clothes fault). Anyways, I was rushed and really, I am fat so who cares if I look especially fat on any given day? So, I wore the shirt. Well, apparently the reason I don't wear it is becuase it has a huge streak of black paint on it.

sigh.

at least it matches the paint blob on my jeans.

Friday, April 28, 2006

CalWest Printing is a Shitty, Shitty Company

This is an email I wrote today. I just wanted to share it with you, my 5 faithful blog readers. I'm sticking it to the man. I'm spreading the word. CalWest Printing it a shitty, shitty company to deal with!

Wow, do I ever feel vindicated. Go consumer power!

My email: (le sigh. Yes, I know that it will have absolutely no effect)

I'm sorry, do I have dirty money or something? I sent in a request for a quote by email twice (almost two weeks ago now) and called to follow up four times. Each time I was told that someone was working on it and to "just wait". Once somebody told me they would send me the information by that afternoon. Obviously I never received anything from you.

I understand that you are busy but I'm just confused as to how a business can operate this way. It's a shame really since I work with many companies who do a variety of printing including brochures, programs, and posters. I know you won't respond to this email but I just thought I should let you know that I'm going to discourage everyone within earshot against using your company. When the question of "Who should we use as a printer?" comes up, I will say "Definately not CalWest Printing, they're horrible to deal with".

Thanks for nothing,
Amanda

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Pick Up The Phone

You know what I hate? I hate men who sleep with women and then never call back. Now, obviously I'm not talking about myself here. One of the benefits of marriage is that even if he doesn't call the next day, chances are he's making me dinner and is therefore forced to look me in the eye.

But what is with these guys who are complete pussies. I mean, if you're not into her just say "hey you, it was fun/good/great/adequate/nice but I'm just not that into you." You know what her response would be? Probably something along the lines of "okay, your dick was disappointingly small anyways." Now I'm not saying that anyone in particular has an inadequate penis...I'm actually not saying that, I'm being honest here. That was just an example of what our hypothetical girl would say.

While I may envy some aspects of my single friends lives I do not envy how many assholes they have to put up with. And don't even try to pull that "I'm sooo busy right now" bullshit with me. Nobody, hear me now, nobody is soooo busy that they can't find 10 minutes in their day to (I'm going to spell it out for you now)...

1. pick up the phone
2. dial phone number of girl whose vagina you were inside
3. when girl answers, tell her you are too busy right now for sex/dating/breathing
4. hang up the phone

Wow. That was really tough. Maybe I can see his side of the....no, wait he's a complete pussy. And a total asshole to boot.

Thank god I don't have to deal with anyone like that in my life....I'm not sure I could stop myself from bitch-slapping him if I did happen to know this type of guy.

Ah, I've been holding that in for awhile. I feel better now. I wonder if this will damage our working relationship...me and this totally hypothetical man that is....

Friday, April 21, 2006

Why Are People So Sensitive?

Why are people so sensitive? I think it goes back to the lack of self-awareness. It's like people don't realize that they are a bad actor, or are in a bad play. Open up your eyes, look around you!!! And just becuase your Mom and friends say it was good, you were good, everything is good....why on earth would you belive them? They love you. They are blinded by that love for you. So either they convinced themselves that you/it/everything was good, or they're lying to you becuase they don't want to make you cry.

Leave that to us heartless, faceless strangers. If the truth makes you cry then step on up sweetheart and don't forget that hanky.

But here's what really gets me. Do you really want to go through life with that veil of ignorance clouding your view. Be honest now, isn't it better to see yourself for what you really are?

Friday, April 07, 2006

Poor Life Decisions

Damn you Season 2 Mr. Big! What does that idiot stick figure with no soul have over Carrie? Poor life decisions my friend, poor life decisions.

Sex and the City Itch

I've been feeling the itch lately....the Sex and the City itch. With Mr. Rose being away the last two days have been a scratchfest. I was obsessed with SatC when I was living in Thailand. It was one of the first pirated things I bought. I'll admit that I had low expectations. Previously I was not a huge Sarah Jessica Parker fan. But, ultimately, she won me over.

The down side of my SatC binge, of course, is that my life pales in comparison. The only similarity between my and those hot galleons is the constant eating. Have you noticed this by the way? They are always eating, constantly...sometimes multiple times in an episode. But aside from a couple Miranda at the gym episodes and a run where Carrie stops to smoke, you so rarely see them exercising. But obviously to have those bodies these women are exercising constantly. What are the ladies trying to tell me?

Anyways, aside from the eating...they don't just go to bingo, they go to drag queen bingo. Why don't they have drag queen bingo in Calgary? I would totally be there! And why can't you wear fancy clothes anywhere in Calgary? Jeans and t-shirts, jeans and t-shirts. Fancy in Calgary is wearing high heels with your jeans and t-shirt.

le sigh.

Monday, April 03, 2006

The Perfect Sunday

Don't you always want to see into people's lives? Just to see what they're really like when they're alone, just hanging out? Well, I do. So here is a glimpse into my inner workings. Yesterday I had what I would describe as The Perfect Sunday.

My Sunday began at about 10am. Mr. Rose woke me before heading off to work. Now, while I was feeling bad that he had to work all day I was definately happy to have the house to myself all day. So, 10am I eat some little bagels with cream cheese and strawberry jam whilst perusing a new book (a series of essays on fat) I bought the night before. One essay and two very satisfying mini-bagels later I move to the couch and settle in to Harvest Moon, a children's video game I'm hooked on.

An hour and a half later I'm feeling the need to be productive. Grooving to Tata Young (Thai popstar) at top volume I proceed to clean the living room...sweeping, dusting, rearranging decorative items, putting away the winter throws (see you next year big blue fleecy) and bringing out the chenille spring throws. It's almost like redecorating, soooo satisfying. I talk to my Dad on the phone during part of the cleaning. Familial obligation fulfilled. I consider going to the local cafe for lunch but end up with cheese sticks and cookies recently purchased from Costco. A luxurious shower. I'm knee deep in water by the time I get out...damn slow drain!

I sit down for more Harvest Moon but am feeling a little headachy. I take an Advil Migrane and have the perfect half hour nap on the couch. I wake before the beeping alarm and feel refreshed. More Harvest Moon. So addictive. Put together laundry, actually go into scary basement to put laundry into machine. Make bed with lovely fresh sheets. Another essay about fat, not as good as the first one.

Phone Mr. Rose, complain about hunger levels, entice him to return home. Continue Harvest Mooning. Out to Peter's Drive-In for dinner. Bring it home to facilitate movie watching. Watch Waiting for Guffman while eating tasty burger and onion rings. Continue laundry periodically. Sweep bedroom. Watch Kung Fu Hustle. very weird but ultimately good. Finish tidying bedroom, put excess laundry inside laundry hamper (wild, I know). Sleep.

Seriously, this is a perfect Sunday for me. Now you tell me your perfect Sunday and I can try it out to see if it works for me.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

My Rage of Yesterday

BAH! I feel that everything should reset after I have slept. So if I have the SHITTIEST day ever it should only last for that one day. Then when I go to sleep it should ooze out through my pores and when I wake up the world should be fresh and new again. But no, like the lingering odor of sports equipment my rage of yesterday is currently throbbing behind by right eye. And here I am with no advil.

The weekend cannot come quickly enough.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I'm Dooooooomed

I'm not shitting you. My other coworker just came in and set down a tupperware with a dozen freshly homemade chocolate cupcakes that his mom made.

I'm doomed.

Something Has To Give

How can someone as sweet and loveable as me be so loathed by an entire group of people? As I finished typing that sentence my coworker arrived and plopped down a box of donuts. Let's for a moment put aside the fact that I'm doing personal shit at work, I do get everything I need too done in a day...and usually some other people's work as well. I swear, I'm just terribly efficient. I'll get back to my original story in a later post but for now......

The Plight of the Fat Girl (Part 2 in a Neverending Series of Shame)
When People Bring Food To Work
Okay, so I'm about to go the fridge and get out my yogurt for my mid-morning snack. Healthy choices! But then, the box of donuts. First of all, it is impossible for me to say no. He brought them in to be nice. He feels bad that he never shows up for work on time. The donuts are his way of saying, hey thanks for putting up with that shit. To say no would be rejecting him and everything he stands for.
But do I really have to eat two donuts and a chocolate timbit? Probably not. As I'm chowing down on cakey goodness I think about how this counteracts every good thing I've done this week. But all of a sudden I'm required to eat to be social, to be friendly, to get along with people I see all the time. It's not just work either. I'm a fairly social person. Eating happens alot when I'm being sociable with people.
And, no, you cannot, in fact, order a salad when you're out. You're at a pub. You order nachos or pot stickers or something deep fried. There's a running joke about ordering the veggie platter (which is usually a pretty sad thing only made palatable by drenching everything in ranch dip and thereby nullifying all the good effects of the vegetables anyways). Not to mention that beer is just empty calories. And, no, you cannot, in fact, order a lite beer if you are under the age of 40. Plus, lite beer tastes like shit.
The real problem with the donut is that I am so easily derailed. There's no possible way I can make up for that. Do you know how many stairs I would have to climb to burn off those calories? It's impossible. And so, I give up.
Willpower is not something you have or don't have. It's a very difficult state of mind to attain, and it is not a steady state. There is so much working against you all the time. You just can't be in control of every aspect of your life...something has to give. Even though I intellectually understand that I do not want the donut, I know I will have another this afternoon.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Arwen Asleep In My Lap

Two posts in one day? I'm going waaay overboard. But seriously, what could be cuter than this, an Arwen asleep in my lap even when I'm not in the pants:


Well, perhaps this, an Arwen awokened by my relentless photo-taking of her cuteness. Look at her cute little face.

Isn't she a cutey-wutey? Oh yes she is, oh yes she is. Who's my cute kitty? I think it's....oh wait, this is a computer screen and not my cat at all....

ps. I swear I normally make the bed and fold my clothes!

Too Bad She Wasn't Pretty, Just Dumb.

You know what I hate? I mean, in addition to stupid people. Loud, stupid people. What is the deal with the girls who talk on the bus at top volume. I can put up with that shite from teenagers but from women my age? Ohmigod! And if you're going to be screaming at each other behind me for the whole bus ride why must you also be so very stupid?

"I mean, ohmigod, what's the point of having the train run until 1am if busses only run until midnight?"
"Ohmigod, I know...I totally know. It just doesn't make sense"
"And what's the deal with Stampede anyways? I mean, yah the trains run all night long but what's the point?"
"I Know! I mean, it's not like there's extra people riding the train during Stampede!"
"Yah, what's the big deal anyways, it's all just people who already live here who go! It's not like people come in from other towns all excited about the stupid Stampede."

oh....my.....god. I mean, yes of course the Stampede is stupid and by rights all native Calgarians have free rein to hate those 10 long, looooong days. But....um....really?

So, when the girl was asking the bus driver where she should get off to get to the Renfrew Chrysler and he let her off at the wrong stop with bad directions....well, I believe I was whistling a little ditty to myself as I walked past the dealership. Anyone who thinks it's acceptable to show up for a job interview 10 mintues late doesn't really deserve my help anyways. Too bad she wasn't pretty, just dumb.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Doog-A-Thon: Two Days After

So here's the thing...for all you folks who continue to harass me about how dorky it is to have a Doog-A-Thon...Doogie Howser, MD was actually a fairly well-written show. I'm being serious. There were tons of episodes where Megan and I couldn't figure out what was going to happen next. How often does that happen in sitcoms nowadays? Oh, that's right...never.

Take for example the episdoe where Doogie takes his Dad's BMW, without permission, and totally gets away with it! No moral lesson at all. I learned that if I'm going to take my parent's car without permission I should have enough cash on hand to get it out of the impound lot and the courage to drive fast enough to get it back into the garage on time.

Doogie Howser is a prime example of the devolution of television. The chaff is so thick in the field that I'm not sure there's any wheat even growing any more. No wonder I have to constantly rant about how stupid people are look at what's being beamed into their brains night after night!

And furthermore, why can't shows like Doogie be replayed? It's cheaper for the networks. It's still relevant topics, I mean anything about tean angst will always be relevant right? I'm off to start my letter-writing campaign. I'll start right after this next episode...I swear...

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Doog-A-Thon: Season One Complete

what is there to say?

off to start Season Two...

Doog-A-Thon: The Morning After

Rested, refreshed and ready to Doog. At least 4 more hours to go today. Muffins and jam await to provide sustenance for Day 2 of the Doog-A-Thon.

Doog-A-Thon: Hour 8

It breaks down. We can't watch any more Doog. We have failed to reach my personal goal of watching an entire season of Doogie Howser, MD in one night. I somehow feel like I've let the Doog down. Will he doubt my commitment? Can he possibly understand? We just need some rest man, give us a solid 8 and we'll be back in the morning.

Muffins and Doog.

See you tomorrow!

Doog-A-Thon: Hour 6


I believe this picture tells the whole story. At hour 6 Megan begins to fall apart. Is it the lingering aroma of spinach dip? The mostly eaten pan of brownies? Or is it simply this...the site of Doog in an acid-wash jean jacket:


Hard to say really. What will come in the next few hours? What lessons does Doog have for us? Only time will tell.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Doog-A-Thon: Hour 3

After the first disk of Doogie Howser, MD Megan and I are holding up pretty well. We're still upbeat and energetic. Ultimately, to this point, we've been satisfied with our Dooging experience. It's even better than what we remembered as children.

I'd like to leave you with this thought. Doogie Howser is not just a doctor....he is also a boy, a boy with needs and feelings. A boy who just needs love and acceptance. We're here for you Doog.

I Don't Care. I Really Don't

Well, I was having a perfectly fine morning...in fact, it was just dandy. I've got a Doog-a-thon to look forward to, not overly busy at work, just ate a freshly baked poppyseed muffin...all in all, a dandy morning indeed.

As per usual a human has ruined it for me. Please tell me why it's my fault that someone else gave you bad information? Look here you smelly seniors...we..do..not..sell..tickets..for..the.. Gilbert..and..Sullivan..show. Why is this so hard to understand? Our phone number isn't on their posters/website/advertising. Don't even get me started on why the fuck you would want to see that pap in the first place...oh no, too late...

What is the fucking point? It's the same goddamn shows every year. There is nothing new or good or interesting about fucking Gilbert and Sullivan. They only do the goddamn shows in the first place because they're public domain. One man's cheapness!!! And they recycle the same shows every four years!! why, why, why...will someone please tell me why???

Why do people want to see bland, repetitive, dry theatre anyways? If you want crap I'm sure there's a Blockbuster Video located in your neighbourhood where you can rent The 40 Year Old Virgin for much cheaper than the price of a theatre ticket.

Oh yeah, and if some schmuck at some other phone number told you the wrong thing (or more likely you were too stupid to actually listen to the answers to the questions you posed), don't tell me about it! I don't care. I really don't.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

A Basic Level of Self-Awareness

I'm more irritable than usual lately. I know what you're thinking....and, yes, I am pretty much always irritable so it can be hard to detect when that level has increased. It usually comes and goes though. It's been sitting pretty steady at a fairly high level for days now. Of course there are the usual levels of incompetence surrounding me.

Which makes me question...why are people so stupid?? Seriously, how do these stupid, small, narrow-minded, little people lead their day-to-day lives? How are enormous roadblocks not thrown up in front of them all the time due simply to their own stupidness? And, furthermore, how do people who can barely see past the ends of their own noses claim to be capable of hearing differing opinions and evaluating them reasonably.

I mean, oh my god, how does so much of the human population lack even a basic level of self-awareness!?!?!?! How can you continue to exist in the world, how do you function in everyday life, how do you not get punched in the face daily when you are so self-absorbed???!!!

These, are just some of the question I have about the world I live in. Excuse me, I think I need to go work on my yawp.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

A CrackWhore Can Get Pregnant

Why is everyone I know suddenly pregnant? Wait, I'll have to come back to that one later.

This week was the One-Act Festival at work. Much overtime was accumulated and much sleep lost forever in the sands of time. Aside from a satisfied glow of a project well done and now complete I received personally wonderful accolades. After many dry years at the festival my theatre company finally managed to take home an award! Who's the Best Director? Oh, I think that's me!!

I'm apparently only allowed to have a swelled head until Monday so I thought I better log on fast while I still had the chance. A particularly satisfying year to take home that particular award as the adjudicator is a bigwig director here. I guess it takes genius to spot genius. :) Wow, even that might be too much swelled head for me!

In all seriousness, I always knew I was good but it's still nice to have some public reinforcement. Also got to accept the award in the prescence of sworn rivals (ha!) who went home empty-handed.

I mean, seriously, a crackwhore can get pregnant but give her a piece of theatre and let's see her try to direct.

Monday, March 06, 2006

The Grocery Store Episode

This one's for you Megs....

The Plight of the Fat Girl (Part 1 in a Neverending Series of Shame)
The Grocery Store Episode
Everyone does this in the grocery store right? Judging the food of the people in front of and behind you in line. So last Saturday I'm at the store with Mr. Rose stocking up for a movie night, the usual pound of ju-jubes, bag of chocolate things (in this case tasty, tasty skor bites), pretzels for him, chips for her (with herb & spice dip of course) and a case of Diet Pepsi. (Oh I know what you're thinking, just keep it to yourself poptart) Oh and I think we also had a bunch of bananas, got to keep it balanced right?
Anyways, we're in line and I look at the skinny little spin tart behind us who is purchasing two! 5lb bags of nasty frozen shrimpy things, a dozen apples and some All Bran bars. Boy howdy did I ever judge her skinny ass. But then I looked down at the conveyer belt filled with another weekend of shame and realized.....she too, might be judging me. But probably not, skinny people are too busy being skinny and beautiful and loved to be bother with judging us tubbies right? (ah if only)
But the thing is, she wasn't even particularly skinny or spin-tarty. She was just some regular-sized girl buying ingrediants for some Apple Bran Shrimp Bake or something. And she probably didn't even notice our ju-jubes or matching over-the-jeans bellies. She was probably just reaind the tabloid headlines and waiting for her turn to pay. Oblivious in her confidence in her regular-sized self. Bitch.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

This Hoity-Toit Lady

So, this morning, as I was driving into work, I was listening to CBC Radio One as I am wont to do. Sidenote: Mr. Rose made fun of me a couple of days ago for my lack of comma use, these sentences are for you baby!

Back to my main topic, this hoity-toit lady was talking about how 95% of blogs are a complete waste of time. Not just a waste of time mind you, a complete waste of time. And I thought....huh, you're probably right hoity-toit lady, you're probably right.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Spout the Party Line

You know how when you're travelling you hit that one place that you hate. And then you come back and you're telling people how much you dislike Morocoo and they go on and on about how much they loooooved Morocco. Well, Willi's blog reminded me of how much I disliked Cambodia. (as a side note, it also reminded me of how much i liked Willi)

From the very second I had to get on to that tiny 4-seats-across plane I knew I was in trouble. I was at the end of a six-month internship, six very long months away from friends, family and anything that reminded me of home, and I decided to take the opportunity to visit Angkor Wat. Ultimately, perhaps, a mistake. I would have been happier spending my last days on the beach or wandering the streets of Bangkok.

Cambodia was horrible for me. The people were friendly, sure, but only because I was a huge, fat, walking dollar sign to them. It's bad enough being a fat, white, single girl travelling in Asia...that's a whole entry and a half on it's own...but to be constantly reminded that I am also a selfish, wealthy capitalist...well, it proved too much for me. On the one hand I don't want to give them my money...after all I do work in the arts, it's not like I'm made of money at home. But on the other hand that essential MEC backpack I'm toting whilst trekking around these ancient ruins would cost them a year's salary.

And the backpackers...to see myself reflected in all those dreadlocks and tie-dye. Every step I took across Angkor was tainted for me. I couldn't really talk about it to anyone because ultimately you can't complain about travelling, you can complain about being ripped off or the spicy food making you sick or being forced to eat fish paste by stuffy business men with only the best intentions. But you can't complain about the whole thing, it makes people mad. Who are you to not enjoy this experience denied to so many?

An so, ultimately I left Cambodia feeling dirty. And whenever people ask me about Angkor Wat with that knowing sparkle in their eyes waiting for me to lavish them with stories about how great, how majestic, how life-changing it was....well, I smile politely and spout the party line while trying to push that nasty aftertaste back down to my toes where it belongs.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Damn you Doogie Howser!

Ha! See, just like a diary. I'll be here every day for about a week and then it'll start to trail off.....

I'm waiting to sell tickets for a show. You know how I was celebrating about all my free time away from the theatre? yes, well.....I signed up to work every night this week in the same damn theatre. Damn you Doogie Howser! The things I do for you.

Oh yes, you heard me right. I am working extra to save up money to purchase Season 1 of Doogie Howser MD. Why? Because I can't find it to rent it. What? Ohhhhhh, why do I want to watch it? Lord only knows. I had a desperate crush on Doogie back in the day. I hope he doesn't let me down. How bad could it be?

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

End of an Era

It's just like keeping a diary....and I am just as bad at it. I have been distracted of late running my little community theatre company. But that has drawn to a close...even if we do ressurect ourselves our season always ends at this time of year.

On the one hand I'm a little bit sad, it's the end of an era. I have been so heavily involved with this theatre company for 6 years! To take away that much volunteer time commitment leaves me at a loss for how I will occupy my time. How do people fill their empty lives? And furthermore, theatre is how I meet new people, which brings me to.....

On the other hand I'm a little bit happy. My time is freed up to explore things other than theatre. Not that I don't love it but I work in one all day, seperation will be refreshing. And furthermore, theatre people are snobby and cliquey...can't say I'm going to miss that aspect of meeting people.

The Watermelon Guy may be cute but he's not a god people! Just a guy who is not good enough to go pro.