Friday, April 28, 2006

CalWest Printing is a Shitty, Shitty Company

This is an email I wrote today. I just wanted to share it with you, my 5 faithful blog readers. I'm sticking it to the man. I'm spreading the word. CalWest Printing it a shitty, shitty company to deal with!

Wow, do I ever feel vindicated. Go consumer power!

My email: (le sigh. Yes, I know that it will have absolutely no effect)

I'm sorry, do I have dirty money or something? I sent in a request for a quote by email twice (almost two weeks ago now) and called to follow up four times. Each time I was told that someone was working on it and to "just wait". Once somebody told me they would send me the information by that afternoon. Obviously I never received anything from you.

I understand that you are busy but I'm just confused as to how a business can operate this way. It's a shame really since I work with many companies who do a variety of printing including brochures, programs, and posters. I know you won't respond to this email but I just thought I should let you know that I'm going to discourage everyone within earshot against using your company. When the question of "Who should we use as a printer?" comes up, I will say "Definately not CalWest Printing, they're horrible to deal with".

Thanks for nothing,
Amanda

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Pick Up The Phone

You know what I hate? I hate men who sleep with women and then never call back. Now, obviously I'm not talking about myself here. One of the benefits of marriage is that even if he doesn't call the next day, chances are he's making me dinner and is therefore forced to look me in the eye.

But what is with these guys who are complete pussies. I mean, if you're not into her just say "hey you, it was fun/good/great/adequate/nice but I'm just not that into you." You know what her response would be? Probably something along the lines of "okay, your dick was disappointingly small anyways." Now I'm not saying that anyone in particular has an inadequate penis...I'm actually not saying that, I'm being honest here. That was just an example of what our hypothetical girl would say.

While I may envy some aspects of my single friends lives I do not envy how many assholes they have to put up with. And don't even try to pull that "I'm sooo busy right now" bullshit with me. Nobody, hear me now, nobody is soooo busy that they can't find 10 minutes in their day to (I'm going to spell it out for you now)...

1. pick up the phone
2. dial phone number of girl whose vagina you were inside
3. when girl answers, tell her you are too busy right now for sex/dating/breathing
4. hang up the phone

Wow. That was really tough. Maybe I can see his side of the....no, wait he's a complete pussy. And a total asshole to boot.

Thank god I don't have to deal with anyone like that in my life....I'm not sure I could stop myself from bitch-slapping him if I did happen to know this type of guy.

Ah, I've been holding that in for awhile. I feel better now. I wonder if this will damage our working relationship...me and this totally hypothetical man that is....

Friday, April 21, 2006

Why Are People So Sensitive?

Why are people so sensitive? I think it goes back to the lack of self-awareness. It's like people don't realize that they are a bad actor, or are in a bad play. Open up your eyes, look around you!!! And just becuase your Mom and friends say it was good, you were good, everything is good....why on earth would you belive them? They love you. They are blinded by that love for you. So either they convinced themselves that you/it/everything was good, or they're lying to you becuase they don't want to make you cry.

Leave that to us heartless, faceless strangers. If the truth makes you cry then step on up sweetheart and don't forget that hanky.

But here's what really gets me. Do you really want to go through life with that veil of ignorance clouding your view. Be honest now, isn't it better to see yourself for what you really are?

Friday, April 07, 2006

Poor Life Decisions

Damn you Season 2 Mr. Big! What does that idiot stick figure with no soul have over Carrie? Poor life decisions my friend, poor life decisions.

Sex and the City Itch

I've been feeling the itch lately....the Sex and the City itch. With Mr. Rose being away the last two days have been a scratchfest. I was obsessed with SatC when I was living in Thailand. It was one of the first pirated things I bought. I'll admit that I had low expectations. Previously I was not a huge Sarah Jessica Parker fan. But, ultimately, she won me over.

The down side of my SatC binge, of course, is that my life pales in comparison. The only similarity between my and those hot galleons is the constant eating. Have you noticed this by the way? They are always eating, constantly...sometimes multiple times in an episode. But aside from a couple Miranda at the gym episodes and a run where Carrie stops to smoke, you so rarely see them exercising. But obviously to have those bodies these women are exercising constantly. What are the ladies trying to tell me?

Anyways, aside from the eating...they don't just go to bingo, they go to drag queen bingo. Why don't they have drag queen bingo in Calgary? I would totally be there! And why can't you wear fancy clothes anywhere in Calgary? Jeans and t-shirts, jeans and t-shirts. Fancy in Calgary is wearing high heels with your jeans and t-shirt.

le sigh.

Monday, April 03, 2006

The Perfect Sunday

Don't you always want to see into people's lives? Just to see what they're really like when they're alone, just hanging out? Well, I do. So here is a glimpse into my inner workings. Yesterday I had what I would describe as The Perfect Sunday.

My Sunday began at about 10am. Mr. Rose woke me before heading off to work. Now, while I was feeling bad that he had to work all day I was definately happy to have the house to myself all day. So, 10am I eat some little bagels with cream cheese and strawberry jam whilst perusing a new book (a series of essays on fat) I bought the night before. One essay and two very satisfying mini-bagels later I move to the couch and settle in to Harvest Moon, a children's video game I'm hooked on.

An hour and a half later I'm feeling the need to be productive. Grooving to Tata Young (Thai popstar) at top volume I proceed to clean the living room...sweeping, dusting, rearranging decorative items, putting away the winter throws (see you next year big blue fleecy) and bringing out the chenille spring throws. It's almost like redecorating, soooo satisfying. I talk to my Dad on the phone during part of the cleaning. Familial obligation fulfilled. I consider going to the local cafe for lunch but end up with cheese sticks and cookies recently purchased from Costco. A luxurious shower. I'm knee deep in water by the time I get out...damn slow drain!

I sit down for more Harvest Moon but am feeling a little headachy. I take an Advil Migrane and have the perfect half hour nap on the couch. I wake before the beeping alarm and feel refreshed. More Harvest Moon. So addictive. Put together laundry, actually go into scary basement to put laundry into machine. Make bed with lovely fresh sheets. Another essay about fat, not as good as the first one.

Phone Mr. Rose, complain about hunger levels, entice him to return home. Continue Harvest Mooning. Out to Peter's Drive-In for dinner. Bring it home to facilitate movie watching. Watch Waiting for Guffman while eating tasty burger and onion rings. Continue laundry periodically. Sweep bedroom. Watch Kung Fu Hustle. very weird but ultimately good. Finish tidying bedroom, put excess laundry inside laundry hamper (wild, I know). Sleep.

Seriously, this is a perfect Sunday for me. Now you tell me your perfect Sunday and I can try it out to see if it works for me.