Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Pick Up The Phone

You know what I hate? I hate men who sleep with women and then never call back. Now, obviously I'm not talking about myself here. One of the benefits of marriage is that even if he doesn't call the next day, chances are he's making me dinner and is therefore forced to look me in the eye.

But what is with these guys who are complete pussies. I mean, if you're not into her just say "hey you, it was fun/good/great/adequate/nice but I'm just not that into you." You know what her response would be? Probably something along the lines of "okay, your dick was disappointingly small anyways." Now I'm not saying that anyone in particular has an inadequate penis...I'm actually not saying that, I'm being honest here. That was just an example of what our hypothetical girl would say.

While I may envy some aspects of my single friends lives I do not envy how many assholes they have to put up with. And don't even try to pull that "I'm sooo busy right now" bullshit with me. Nobody, hear me now, nobody is soooo busy that they can't find 10 minutes in their day to (I'm going to spell it out for you now)...

1. pick up the phone
2. dial phone number of girl whose vagina you were inside
3. when girl answers, tell her you are too busy right now for sex/dating/breathing
4. hang up the phone

Wow. That was really tough. Maybe I can see his side of the....no, wait he's a complete pussy. And a total asshole to boot.

Thank god I don't have to deal with anyone like that in my life....I'm not sure I could stop myself from bitch-slapping him if I did happen to know this type of guy.

Ah, I've been holding that in for awhile. I feel better now. I wonder if this will damage our working relationship...me and this totally hypothetical man that is....


Meg said...

Thanks for dumping Yoga Chef for me- you're the best.

Lady Rose said...

well, I did breifly feel bad for crushing a man with a terminal illness. But that feeling quickly passed...when it became obvious he was still alive. loser.

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