Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Headbutted in the Armpit

I had a whole rant worked up but then Arwen just came up and headbutted me in the armpit before crawling (purring) into my lap. How can I possibly rant with an Arwen in my lap? So, perhaps being a crazy, lonely, old cat-lady wouldn't be so bad? And if you had 10 you'd be pretty much guaranteed to have a cat in your lap at all times. cat appears to have dandruff.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

I Hobnobbed...with Celebrities

Ah, the Catties. Now I did hear rumour that there was another bitter table last night. Not bitter about award wins/losses of course, just bitter in general...and contemptous of our peers. We have our Fat Calves, they have their Princess D.

To sum up the night...I delivered an awkwardly nervous In Memoriam piece on a man I had never met, I was bored, I was happy about one man's loss, I was offended by who I lost to (no that I lost mind you, just who took the award instead of me), I was bored, I wondered about the fashion sense of people over 40, I wished someone had worn sleeves, I was bored, I was drunk after one beer (I hadn't had dinner ok???), I did the rounds, I congratulated him without throwing up, I actually agreed that she has fat calves, I surled, I hobnobbed with celebrities, I fondled Megan's tits (twice!), I recieved a "supersonic hug", I fondled two asses, I avoided one awkward conversation, I confessed someone else's secret crush (with permission), I had my boob bitten, I was overshadowed by 22 year old tits, I had the best fucking ham and cheese sandwich at 3am ever.

And there's no way I'm dragging my ass out next year.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Sound and Fury

Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

I'm going on vacation now.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I Hit the Delete Key, Smiling

You know how people are always sending you those chain emails. Man, I hate those so much. I got this particularly soppy one today about our troops in (insert country American's have leveled in past two years). I was actually smiling when I hit the delete key, smiling.

People take those things so seriously, which is ridiculous. What exactly do people think they're accomplishing? Other than irritating their vague acquaintances in their address book. Squashing their hope that I will send their email on to 13 friends in the next 15 mintues actually satisfies me, my day is a little bit better for having received and deleted their crappy email.