Wednesday, October 25, 2006

A Lonely Life

Well since my obsession with rolling shit into a ball has cooled a bit, I figured I'd better post. Have I mentioned lately that I hate all humans? No? Wow, I've been quite the model of restraint.

Now, don't even get me started on Tall, Dark and Loser. He grows more creepy and off-putting with each passing day. Now he's started hitting on the other girls at work, in a creepy-he's-tall-ugly-and-married sort of way. Thankfully he doesn't try his psuedo-flirting with me, probably due to my combination of fatness and scathing glares. Hard to say which puts him off more. He's slowly beginning to fill every stereotype I have about men of his race, I hate it when that happens. He's taken to telling me what to do (as if I don't already know or he was in a position to do so) sometimes while I am actually doing that task. For example, "Amanda, you need to cut up a lemon" he will say as I'm standing at the counter cutting up a lemon. What the fuck does it look like I'm doing!!!!! you enormous, sloppy bag of douche. And I just loooove the people who try bossing you around while they sit on their fat asses doing nothing. Fuck you Dude!!!

And then there's the customers who get all pissed off at you when they are ultimately in the wrong. In my world the customer is not always right, the person who is actually correct is right. I'm sorry that your age has rendered you incapable of understanding anything at all. Or wait, I'm not sorry...because for every cranky fucking senior I have to deal with there are 25 other seniors who don't seem to have lost the ability to listen to and follow simple instructions. Just because you're old doesn't give you the right to be an asshole!

Although, secretly....I look forward to being an asshole when I'm a senior. I'll be old, I will have earned the right to be openly bitchy to anyone who dares cross my path. It'll be a lonely life, sure....but that's what cats are for right?


Meg said...

*contented sigh*

now that was sastisfying. Got a cigarette?

Meg said...

that mayonnaise is tooo spicy!

Andrasta said...

lemons are hot.

Meg said...

you know, I wasn't going to nag you, but I guess it's come to that.

Lady Rose said...

I've been ill! Cut me some slack!