Tuesday, June 12, 2007

My Next Door Neighbour is Dead

My next door neighbour is dead. A few months ago the police showed up at my door at 9 in the morning. They pounded and pounded until I answered, very unnerving actually. Anyways, they asked me a whole bunch of questions about the last time I had seen my next door neighbour.

My next door neighbour is a little old stooped old lady who seems to wear the same polyester dress and grandma nylons every time I see her. Which is apporiximately 5 times. I have been living in the house for 3 years and I have seen my neighbour 5 times.

So when the police asked if I had seen her in the last week my answer was obviously no. But I pointed out to them that I probably hadn't seen in many months since she appears to live alone and never leave her house.

So I assumed she was dead in that house. I had to leave for work and didn't get to see if the police broke down the door. But since then there are always more lights on in the house. I figured that she had died and the house was empty and they had one of those automatic light switcher oner things...so the house didn't look empty.

I've been waiting for this nasty grandma house to go on the market. I think the nasty grandma house is one of the best deals you can get. They're overcrowded, stuffy and smell like, well, grandmas.

So you can imagine my surprise when this weekend I look out the window behind my couch and what do I see but by dead next door neighbour. I know what you're thinking, you're thinking that obviously she's not dead as she's walking around the side of her house, talking to the grass cutting boy, and picking some tulips.

But the reason I looked out that window is because Tybalt (Prince of Cats) is giving out the most deep, menancing growl I have ever heard. This is a cat who spends 90% of his time pasted against any open window to watch the goings on of the outside world. He's the cat who looks at you longingly, wishing you would come up to that window to pet and play with him. He is the definition of a people-cat. He loves people.

But not this old lady. The entire time she was outside he was frozen in place growling and glaring at her.

Why?

Because as I mentioned before, my next door neighbour is dead.

And only the cat is smart enough to figure it out.

1 comment:

Meg said...

love it.

your neighbour is a zombie.

love. it.