Thursday, November 01, 2007

Top 5 List #3

So it looks like we're going to have to make a new agreement. I think that we'll have to agree that I never promised to post 5 lists this week. Let's all agree that what I obviously meant was I was going to post 3 - 5 Top 5 Lists this week. Can we all agree on that? Good.

Top 5 things you can say to a coworker to ensure their dislike of you:

5. “I see you’re working that homeless chic look today”
4. “Don’t you think that sweater is a little young for you?”
3. “You got assigned to Project X? You? Really? Huh”
2. “Does it bother you that the rest of us are just so, so much younger than you?”
1. “Personally I think it’s really brave of you to wear a tube top, saggy polyester skirt and gum boots to work. Most people would find that outfit inappropriate outside of their home, with the blinds drawn, and literally not even one possible chance that another human being would ever possibly see then in that outfit. I mean you basically look like a fat, cheap prostitute with bad hair and suspicious body odor. I actually have to look away every time you walk past my desk because when I do accidentally look at you I throw up in my mouth a little. No seriously, you actually physically make me gag, that’s how revolting you look….actual gagging is happening over here. But like I said, it’s very brave of you.”

2 comments:

Meg said...

ZED OH EM PEE.

Breanne said...

I KNOW WHO NUMBER 1 IS... And I can picture the outfit now. And you've just turned me off lunch. Thanks a lot Amanda.