Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Dear Mr. Firth

Dear Mr. Firth,

First, let me start off by saying that I have always considered myself a fan. Sure, a lot of your characters are quite similar but I imagine it’s difficult for you to break out of that typecasting. You’ve got to go where the money is, right?

That being said….I have a request. Now you now how much we love your Darcy characters. I mean your Mr. Darcy in the BBC miniseries of Pride and Predjudice was so spot on it’s nearly impossible to read that book now without imagining you as Mr. Darcy. Just for a little contrast here I can barely conjure up an image of the girl who played Elizabeth. She was really just okay. And the actress who played Jane? Let’s be honest with ourselves…not pretty. And I’m not just saying that all actresses have to be beautiful…but her character is described as the beautiful sister. So unless it’s some sort of “British thing”, um…no.

But I digress. In addition to your wondrous performance as Jane Austen’s Mr. Darcy, you have provided us with several other memorable romantic characters. Yes, yes, you play the villain now and again but Bridget Jones’ Mark Darcy? That character was so unbelievably swoon-worthy that it wiped the rest of your repertoire off the map.

Which brings me to the point. I hate to do this Colin, I can call you Colin can’t I? What I would like to ask is if you could please consider…thinking about…well, stopping.

I know, I know. It’s a huge favor to ask. It’s just that…well, I for one can’t take it anymore. You are too perfect. Mark Darcy is the ultimate man. Tall, handsome, gentleman-like manners, sensitive, sweet smile, yummy accent. Now if that wasn’t bad enough, add in great kisser and an implied fantastic lover.

Now please tell me Mr. Firth, how is a regular guy supposed to compete with that? That’s right, there is no competition.

So what I was hoping is that you could just dial it down a notch. Just a notch. Don’t turn it right off or anything but just key it down. Throw some bad acting in, or pronounce a couple of words in a really obnoxious manner, develop a lazy eye, something, anything!

I and women everywhere will thank you.

Love and Kisses,

1 comment:

Meg said...

Maybe he could do some voiceover work for a really repetitive, droning advertisement?