Sunday, April 27, 2008

Busy and Important

It's been quite a change for me this week. For a couple months I've been a lounging lady of leisure and the switch to busy and important lady with actual tasks to complete has not been easy. I've forgotten that working all day makes you tired. And, furthermore, when you work all day you still have to come home and do things like laundry and volunteer committments. I've forgotten how to fit life maintenance around a work schedule.

For example, I need to get a haircut. But since I have to actually be somewhere all day I can't just go and do that whenever I want to. Crazy, I know. So I'm rolling around with ratty, split ended hair and generally looking like a mess.

I tell you, it's almost not worth it. Think how much easier my life would be if I could just go get my hair cut in the middle of the day! Not to mention the grocery shopping, gym visit, lunch dates, well the list goes on and on.

Now, of course, the downside to not working is that I start to lack funding for my lunching, shopping, and styling outings.

I'm just not sure what the solution is here. I'm in a real catch 22. I think my best bet is to try to change Canada into a communist country. I feel that my general awesomeness would be my contribution to society. And in return I would be supplied with all my needs by the state (you know, the usual stuff: manicures, quarterly hair maintenance, yearly shoe allowance, in addition to food and shelter of course).

I think buying lottery tickets is stupid. But this! This is a real plan.

Who's with me?!?!?!?!

Sunday, April 20, 2008

stat counter

A couple months ago I installed a stat counter on my blog. It's such a weird kind of reverse spying. I've managed to identify most of my regular blog checkers. And it's really interesting to see how random people make it onto the blog. A google images search for "landing strip". huh.

I think I didn't have a stat counter for a long time because I didn't really want to know how frequently all y'all were checking out the blogeroo. I have some similar problems with facebook. I don't really like the idea of stalking people with facebook.

Mostly I don't like these things because I think they are difficult to draw conclusions on. What do I really know about you based on what you post on facebook? Or that you check my blog three times a day? Well, for the latter I guess I know that you have too much time on your hands since I am not a regular enough poster to warrant more than one check per day. But really, I don't know anything about you at all. I guess I know something about how you present yourself to the world. But does that mean I can draw conclusions about your true self? Well, I could.....but I doubt their accuracy.

Same goes for this blog really. Do you think you really know me based on what you read here? What exactly are you waiting to see if I post? Most of you are just looking for a good chuckle....but some of you are looking for something else.

I think I'd like to save you the trouble. Because I'm not planning on writing about my innermost fears, worries, and struggles. I have actual real world friends to talk about those things with, I don't really need to post it on my blog for strangers to read.

Please come on back for the good chuckle. I'm an impatient bitch with a shitload of opinions and I will parade them for the amusement of others. True inner turmoil? Sorry, you only get that with me live and in-person.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

My Personal Philosophy

Can you describe your personal philosophy in three bulleted point? I had this come up recently at a job interview. It happens all the time for social services type jobs. For them it's not usually enough that you simply have the skills needed for the job, they really want you to fit in at the orgranization. Even given that I was expecting this question, even given that I've answered varations on this question before; asked in that oh-so blunt of ways I stumbled for a minute.

Because it's hard to sum up what you believe in an interview friendly manner. Made all the more difficult by my beliefs, which I come to think are quite different from most people around me. I think probably the most frustrating part for me is that most others can't even believe me when I tell them snippets of my personal philosophy. Because people, myself included, really struggle with the basic fact that other people aren't the same as you.

This is something I've struggled with for the whole of my adult life. Basically, someone will reveal a piece of information to me. This piece of information is potentially not even that important to this person. But to me it's something that would be very significant. I then extrapolate a whole bunch of things about that person based on how I would feel. Wrong move! I catch myself doing this all the time. And you just can't. People actually don't react to things the same way you do.

It's very difficult. I feel like my default setting is to assume that other people hold the same sort of values I do.

In answer to the interview question I described myself as a "modern hippie". I'm not even sure that that is the right descriptor (it's like I was trying to come up with a label that would fit in a magazine quiz about my personal philosophy).

But how do you answer the question "Who Are You?". Oh, brother...even if we had all the time in the world...

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Gainfully Employed

And in other news....I have a job!

squeeeeeee!

And, even better, is that I have a week and a half before I start being gainfully employed. Ahhhhh, the luxury.

squeeeeee!

Being a Freak Never Felt So Good

Have you ever had one of those moments where you say something in a group that you think is likely applicable to most humans only to realize that everyone is staring at you clearly horrified by what you've just said? Okay, maybe not horrified...but they clearly think you're a freak.

I had one of those this past weekend. Recently my parents-in-law revealed to me that aside from one single occurrence they have never slept separately while occupying the same house. I thought that was insane. Insane I say! So I relayed this story to my peer group only to have the majority of them look upon me in horror. Sleep apart? How could I suggest such a thing? Was I completely mad? No, of course they never slept apart!! The filth that comes out of my mouth!! Dear god, why are we friends with this woman?!?!?!

Alright, it wasn't so bad as that. But I was definitely left with that feeling....of freakishness. Because Mr. Rose and I sleep separately....I wouldn't say all the time, or regularly....perhaps occasionally is the best word. There are three situations under which my spouse and I part ways for our nocturnal hours:

1. Anger. This has only come up once or twice, because...well, if you know Mr. Rose at all you'll know why. He is not a man quick to anger. He's not even slow to anger. He may just not have any anger at all. But on those occasions where I get fed up with his niceness and patience and general loveability I have been known to camp out on the library futon. You know that saying? Never go to bed angry. Bullshit. I'm way less angry after a good nights sleep. And way more capable of having a reasonable discussion. If I could go back in time and take a nap in the middle of all the fights I've ever been in I'm sure they would have resolved themselves in a more satisfactory manner.

2. Accident. Yes, my spouse likes to stay up late. Sometimes later than I like to stay up. And he likes to stay up doing quiet things so he doesn't "disturb" me (seriously? I almost fell asleep at a rock concert once. I'm very talented that way). And thus, he falls asleep. In some ways this is glorious. I wake in the morning feeling oh so comfortable...because apparently my favoured sleeping position is the starfish. But there is a downside. I frequently think that le spouse has died. This is easily solved by getting up and walking 20 steps to where he fell asleep. I watch to make sure he's breathing and then go about my day.

3. Illness. Because I can't fucking stand sick people, myself included. I sleep very soundly, but still...someone waking up to have a shaking coughing fit every 30 minutes really starts to get on my nerves after about one such coughing fit. And when I'm sick I really don't want people touching me.

So, the other night Mr. Rose and I climbed into bed together. He's on the tail end of his cold and I'm on the front end of mine. At about 3:30 in the morning we start waking each other up with various coughings and tossings and turnings. At about 4:00 in the morning my fabulous spouse says "We keep waking each other up, I'm going to go sleep on the futon". I blew my nose (as sexily as possible), spread out into my starfish and said "being a freak never felt so good".

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Go Green!

Have you noticed that every single magazine has a little "go green" tidbit in it these days. And, in fact, when I was over at Chez Nude the other day I was presented with an entire magazine focused around increasing my level of greenness. But here's my problem, it's either too little or too much.

For instance in this month's issue of Real Simple (yes, feel free to mock me. I read Martha Stewart publications about how to organize my clutter. monthly.) they had a list of 10 "simple" ways to go green. Then they showed how much carbon dioxide you can "save" incorporating these simple changes into your life.

Item #1: Recycle aluminum cans. Are you serious?!? Who doesn't recycle aluminum cans?? How is this still a tip for people to start going green?
Item #2: Recycle paper. You have got to be shitting me. Why do they even have to print this stuff in a magazine??? (which, yes, I recycle faithfully) Who are the assholes not recycling paper and aluminum cans?!?!?
Item #3: Turn the heat down when you're not in the house. Do people just have money to burn? Wouldn't you rather use that heating bill money for something that...I don't know, just a thought here...something that you might actually use?

Do people not understand that we live in the world? As a human being you have a responsibility to the planet you live on. This is the base line stuff folks. If you're not recycling, reducing, or reusing....well, you're a jerk. And you're ruining it for the rest of us! You're like that obnoxious kid at school who would ass around behind the teachers back but because she could never catch him at it the whole class had to suffer the punishment of sitting silently with your head on your desk for 15 minutes. Man, everyone hated that kid. You know why? Because he ruined it for everyone! Jerk.

Okay, so you have your base level "green" activities that everyone should obviously be doing. But then they get all intense on you.

Item #4: Buy a hybrid car. Sure, why not? Last time I checked I had about $30,000 just kicking around in my bank account. I guess I could use it to buy a car. I mean, I get it. If you're buying a new vehicle anyways, obviously you should be buying a reasonable car. The next time I buy a car I'll totally buy a hybrid...as long as it gets the gas mileage my Civic currently does (because why would I buy a hybrid vehicle that gets worse gas mileage? kinda misses the point.) But is this really a feasible "go green" option to be suggesting? In the same article as suggesting that maybe people might want to consider recycling cans and paper?!?!?!?
Item #5 Install solar panels on your home. Uhhhhhh, yeah. see above.

So, what's the answer? I don't even know. Well I do know something. Everybody, full stop, everybody should recycle and compost. This should be the baseline acceptable for being allowed to live in a human settlement in Canada. How do you even begin to come up with an excuse for not doing these things? Do you not understand...the earth is dying. There's no hoax, there's no easy solution (don't even open your mouth if the words carbon sequestration are going to come out), there is a very real problem.

We are supposed to be the most intelligent species on this planet. Can't you please care? Just a little?