Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Go Green!

Have you noticed that every single magazine has a little "go green" tidbit in it these days. And, in fact, when I was over at Chez Nude the other day I was presented with an entire magazine focused around increasing my level of greenness. But here's my problem, it's either too little or too much.

For instance in this month's issue of Real Simple (yes, feel free to mock me. I read Martha Stewart publications about how to organize my clutter. monthly.) they had a list of 10 "simple" ways to go green. Then they showed how much carbon dioxide you can "save" incorporating these simple changes into your life.

Item #1: Recycle aluminum cans. Are you serious?!? Who doesn't recycle aluminum cans?? How is this still a tip for people to start going green?
Item #2: Recycle paper. You have got to be shitting me. Why do they even have to print this stuff in a magazine??? (which, yes, I recycle faithfully) Who are the assholes not recycling paper and aluminum cans?!?!?
Item #3: Turn the heat down when you're not in the house. Do people just have money to burn? Wouldn't you rather use that heating bill money for something that...I don't know, just a thought here...something that you might actually use?

Do people not understand that we live in the world? As a human being you have a responsibility to the planet you live on. This is the base line stuff folks. If you're not recycling, reducing, or reusing....well, you're a jerk. And you're ruining it for the rest of us! You're like that obnoxious kid at school who would ass around behind the teachers back but because she could never catch him at it the whole class had to suffer the punishment of sitting silently with your head on your desk for 15 minutes. Man, everyone hated that kid. You know why? Because he ruined it for everyone! Jerk.

Okay, so you have your base level "green" activities that everyone should obviously be doing. But then they get all intense on you.

Item #4: Buy a hybrid car. Sure, why not? Last time I checked I had about $30,000 just kicking around in my bank account. I guess I could use it to buy a car. I mean, I get it. If you're buying a new vehicle anyways, obviously you should be buying a reasonable car. The next time I buy a car I'll totally buy a hybrid...as long as it gets the gas mileage my Civic currently does (because why would I buy a hybrid vehicle that gets worse gas mileage? kinda misses the point.) But is this really a feasible "go green" option to be suggesting? In the same article as suggesting that maybe people might want to consider recycling cans and paper?!?!?!?
Item #5 Install solar panels on your home. Uhhhhhh, yeah. see above.

So, what's the answer? I don't even know. Well I do know something. Everybody, full stop, everybody should recycle and compost. This should be the baseline acceptable for being allowed to live in a human settlement in Canada. How do you even begin to come up with an excuse for not doing these things? Do you not understand...the earth is dying. There's no hoax, there's no easy solution (don't even open your mouth if the words carbon sequestration are going to come out), there is a very real problem.

We are supposed to be the most intelligent species on this planet. Can't you please care? Just a little?