Tuesday, January 13, 2009

50 Ways to Guilt Your Lover

wow. I just guilted my spouse into picking me up from work. On the one hand I feel a little bit bad, on the other hand I do prefer being driven over taking rush hour public transportation.

But here's the deal. I guilted him with a totally valid point. See, when I have the car I drive Mr. Rose to work in the morning and will frequently pick him up from the gym after work. I do this in spite of the fact that he works in the absolute opposite direction of where I work. I drive for 25 minutes out of my way so that he doesn't have to take transit.

On the other hand, when Mr. Rose has the car I get dropped at the bus stop so I either a) don't have to transfer buses, or b) walk 16 blocks to get the bus. Now, I'll admit that the drop off is nice, it probably saves me 20 minutes on my morning commute. But it only adds 2 minutes to his commute. Same deal if I can't get a ride home with a coworker. He picks me up so I don't have to a) transfer, or b) walk 16 blocks (whaaaaaaaaat? it's cold and I'm lazy! and do you really want to walk 16 blocks down 16th avenue? yeah, I didn't think so. oh, alright. in the summer I pledge to walk at least once a week. sigh. get off my back)

Anyways, I think you can see that in this particular situation Mr. Rose is a pampered princess whereas I am the poor abused serf girl being forced to take public transit. Or to be less dramatic, he has a way better deal than I do.

So, when he gets off work half an hour early you would think that requesting a pick up would be natural. But in fact it makes me feel really guilty, even if I was using guilt by pointing out the above situation to Mr. Rose.

And here's why. You cannot measure a marriage on one set of circumstances. Because while he definitely gets a way better transportation situation than I do, he has to put up with me asking him 6 probing questions as I'm falling asleep. I can't fall asleep until the probing questions are out, he can't sleep once the probing questions are out. So, obviously, he has a way worse deal there.

It's all about long-term balance.

That being said, I'm expecting my pick-up to arrive promptly at 4:30.

1 comment:

Meg said...

Ah, the pillow talk probing questions. I'm a fan.