Monday, May 25, 2009

One of Those Days

You know when you have those days where everything clicks and life is like a tampon commercial? You know, you're spinning around in a green meadow or climbing a mountain, but most of all you feel that you have achieved something, lived life, made your mark on the world!

Today is not one of those days.

No, friends. Today is a day when I realize that it is 15 long days until I am on vacation. And that vacation is only 7 days long. And after that very brief interlude I will be back in this same exact place.

I have too much to do. That is what it boils down to. And I'm at the point where I have so much to do I have trouble getting anything done (hello mid-day blog post!).

I always wonder what it is that pushes people over the edge. Right now I am seriously considering just burying myself under my blankets and trying to nap my problem away. So much time has already been wasted, how can I possibly recover from this? Best not to try, perhaps after waking up from said nap I will be superhumanly productive and will magically get 7 hours of work done in only 2 hours!

I won't do that of course. I'm much too responsible. But lots of people do do that. Just crawl into bed and refuse to get up again. So what is it that allows them to snap like that? Do you think there's some advance warning that goes off?

Excuse me while I go make myself some lists. Lists make everything more manageable don't they?

barefoot and pregnant never looked so good...

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

What a slog!

Ugh. I just finished reading Earth by David Brin. I have read and ejoyed Mr. Brin's sci-fi stylings before (I swear to you. I do not only read and watch sci-fi/fantasy.) but this book was just a slog. It had too many boring characters and was way too excited about it's physics for my liking. Seriously, I did not like that book from start to finish. It took me three weeks to read that 600 page paperback. (In comparison, after I finished that book I read 100 pages of the next book on my list whilst taking a bath. I'm no Megan but I'm a pretty fast reader.)

The real question is, why can't I stop reading books I don't like?

I have been reading Shake Hands with the Devil for over a year now. I perservere on that book because a) it has actually been improving and b) I think it's subject matter is important.

But Earth by David Brin did not improve at any point nor was it's subject matter important. There is a long list of "oh my god! the world is ending!" entertainment for me to choose from and Earth did not live up to most of those choices.

So why can't I just give up a move on? Do you know how many books there are in the world?!?!? I don't have time to read them all! Especially if I waste precious weeks on books I don't even like.

I have given up on reading just 3 books in my entire life. One was a book that turned out to be the second in a series. I didn't really like it so I didn't bother getting the first in the series. I secretly don't count that one since it was nigh impossible to understand without having read the first book.

So really, I have given up on reading 2 books in my entire life. The Simarillion (Tolkein other than Lord of the Rings? Just don't go there) and Naked Lunch (I feel like giving up on Naked Lunch is almost like a rite of passage).

I give up on other things all the time! I write off people, places, things...why not books???? why???

(this Tuesday really feels like a Monday. a gloomy depressing Monday. Where did the sun go??? where??????)

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Get it Together, College-Aged Men

So, I'm casually reading this article how french kissing increases risk of transmission for HPV and it throws out this stat:

"For the 28 percent of college-aged men who reported never having performed oral sex, having at least 10 lifetime or at least five recent open-mouthed kissing partners was associated with a significantly higher risk of developing oral HPV infection."

Hold up there. 28% of the 210 college-aged men in this study have never performed oral sex?! Um, dudes, what's up with that?

Now I'm sure that one or two of the women those men have been with were of the 'oh, my vagina's so gross' camp. Or stupid girls as I like to call them. Because while your va-jay-jay might not actually resemble a beautiful rose, it's not gross. (assumption: regular bathing)

No, most of those guys are in the 'ugh, eating pussy is so gross' camp. Douchebags as I like to call them.

Sterling has some really elaborate theories about tribes and who is accepted and what it takes to reach certain levels of hierarchy in a tribe. I'm not sure exactly how sexual performance fits into that though.

In my opinion oral sex is far more important than status in the tribe, money, good looks, you name it. Because while good looks and money can be fleeting, good oral sex lasts forever.

So I plead with you, college aged men who participate in HPV studies, for the sake of college aged women (and high school aged girls) everywhere, please reconsider your stance on oral sex.

Because oral sex should be a right, not a privilege.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Switch Flipping

I think I might have found the thing. The thing that will flip the switch. The thing that will finally make me feel like an adult.

Before I continue, I would like to say that I’m not actually dying to feel like an adult. I don’t want to be a glassy eyed morning commuter. But there’s a difference between that and feeling like you’ve come into your own, neh?

We have a very young (meaning anyone under 29) and extremely bubbly (meaning anyone who can utter more than 10 words in the first half hour of the day) student with us for the summer. I was once one of those bright eyed summer students. Though probably never quite as bubbly, bubbly has just never looked right on me.

Anyways, the other day he was sucking up to me. And I was totally thrown. I believe he even referred to me as ‘cool’. Admittedly this was before he saw the Doctor Who action figurine on my desk (which he mistook for GI Joe…seriously?).

There’s not a speck of doubt in my mind that this guy might possibly think that I was ‘cool’. I may be many things, but cool, I’m pretty sure, is not one of them. What I am is: competent at what I do, established in the career field he wants to enter and obviously well-liked in the workplace.

I’m totally suckup-able. It’s like I’m on a whole new rung of the ladder. I feel so grown-up!
Alright, that’s a lie. I want to feel grown up. Instead it feels like I’m wearing someone else’s skin. Someone else’s cooler skin. So maybe I’m doomed to feel like the kid at the grown-ups table for the rest of my life.

And that’s it! I promise! No more musings on my adult/non-adult status!!

Friday, May 01, 2009


Who leaves working on a strategic communications plan to a Friday afternoon? Chumps, that’s who. Chumps like me. I’m quite certain that I have a brain, though I have no proof of that on this particular afternoon. Rather than managing to get any actual work done this afternoon I have:
  1. Fiddled around with different reports in Google Analytics.
  2. Worked on today’s Sudoku puzzle
  3. Checked some blogs
  4. Cleaned my desk
  5. Stared at a list of target audiences as if it was written in a foreign language
  6. Flossed
  7. Responded to 2 non-urgent, non-important emails
  8. Edited a blog article (important but not urgent, look at me hitting the right square)
  9. Filed a chipped nail
  10. Regretted my lunch choice

Dudes. Is it 4:30 yet? It is finally summer…or at least spring…and I want to sit on my deck and have a beer already!!