Sunday, June 28, 2009

Twilight: An Obsession

Have I talked with you about Twilight before? I have a feminist rant all worked up but I haven't had breakfast yet so I'm going to start with Twilight.

I first read the Twilight books at a very fragile time in my life. During periods of unemployment I find that I am increasingly susceptible to celebrity crushes, general infatuations, and media obsessions. Escapism, right?

Anyways, the books ultimately disappoint. The first one is fraught with tension and adolescent longing and I fell headlong into a world of gorgeous vampires and very light petting. Of course, every book after that gets a little worse until the end of book 4 where you're left with an unsavory (and Mormon-tinged) flavour in your mouth. Of course the problem is, once you've been sucked into a story (or fallen in love with a character) you have to keep going. And no matter how many times you tell someone to stop a book series or tv series at X time, they never do. "How bad can it be?" they think. Or "Who the hell does she think she is? Cornering me at the video store and prying Heroes Season 2 out of my hands?"

Anyways, that's the books, and I'm here to talk to you about my obsession with the movie Twilight. No excuses this time as I was gainfully employed when this one came out.

I actually went to this movie in the theatre with lovely Meg. We proceeded to mock it mercilessly because, believe me, it is entirely mockable. It goes so far over the line several times it can be hard to take it seriously. And, Robert Pattinson? Cedric Diggory? Please! Edward is supposed to be gorgeous.

And yet, I watched again last night. Admittedly it helps to be in a certain state while watching it. Lowered expectations, generally more relaxed, etc. Ultimately, I like Twilight the movie because it reminds me of my first love. It's got a whole Romeo and Juliet quality to it where they figure out, as Shakespeare did, that the only believable way to portray a consuming love is to have teenage characters. (Though there's also a bit of magic about it in Twilight as well, which you know if you have read the books)

Those loves you had as teens really stick with you. They were emotional roller coasters. Because you had about 20 pounds of hormones racing through your body.

My first love was a boy named Tyler. I was 13. He was tall and gawky and adorably geeky. He was smart (almost as smart as me) and he played several sports. We wrote notes back and forth in class. He was a nice, Christian boy who didn't actually fully hit puberty until the next year. I have a vivid memory of being in class where we were doing presentations or something, for some reason we weren't sitting at our desks but scattered about the room on the floor. We sat very close to each other for a very electric 30 minutes, inconspicuously holding hands behind the cover of a backpack. I believe I floated home on a cloud that day.

Holding hands. And that is why I love Twilight (or the first book and the first movie anyways). It is all about possibility and anticipation. The calm before the storm. The breathless pause before the first kiss.

Ah, first loves.

Edward! Swoon!

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Longest Week

Today was the longest day ever so I assume the week will follow suit. You see dear readers, I am waiting for something. Something so rare, so thrilling, so deliciously decadent...well, I can barely keep my pants on!

This weekend, Mr. Rose is flying off to California to attend a reading of a play he's been shopping around to pro companies. Hopefully the schmoozing and networking opportunities will lead to a professional production.

But is this important career opportunity what has my knickers in a joyful knot? No my friends, it is not.

This weekend, while my spouse enjoys some sweet California sunshine I will have...the house to myself. That's right, 2 days and 3 nights of blissful, unencumbered puttering will be mine, all mine. After 7 years of marriage I look forward to these brief breaks where I can eat toast and brussel sprouts for dinner, starfish out in the bed and listen to any song I want on repeat for 30 minutes.

I know that I test out as wildly extroverted on the old Myers-Briggs but sometimes baby needs to be a quiet little hermit. I plan to shun all humans, though I do have a social engagement to attend on Saturday evening which, honestly, is really for the best. Because I'm not actually very good at shunning all humans and have about a 24 hour limit before I start feeling the need to interact with somebody. So, admittedly, I'm not a great hermit.

I already have my Friday night planned! I will come home from work and putter aimlessly about the house for half an hour before making a delicious taco salad. I will proceed to eat said taco salad while watching Fellowship of the Ring (my favorite of the trilogy. and more importantly, impossible to do when Mr. Rose is around because he wants to then watch all the rest of the trilogy!). I may also drink an entire bottle of wine (there's still a bottle of white that's been kicking around in my fridge foreva). Then I will read a fashion magazine whilst watching bad late night tv. I will put fresh sheets on the bed and climb in and spread myself out so I occupy the maximum amount of space. A deep and blissful sleep is sure to follow.

I can't wait!!!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Home Again, Home Again

Jiggity Jig.

Where it smells like lilacs, I sleep in a supremely comfortable bed, and even after it rains the air is deliciously dry. Though there is less two kind swirly ice cream here.

A Montreal overview:
  1. A failure to purchase cute shoes!?! I guess my shoe mojo just wasn't working for me on this particular trip. But don't worry, I still got my shop on. A new wallet, 2 tops, 4 scarves, one necklace and a kick ass piece of art later, Montreal has left it's mark on my life.
  2. Montreal Fringe! We didn't know the fringe was on until our last day but we managed to catch two shows. The Secret Love Life of Ophelia and Fucking Stephen Harper. Neither were particularly good but it was still a fringing good time.
  3. Montreal smoked meat! At the famous (?) Schwartz's Deli. I still don't like smoked meat but I did enjoy a delicious pickle!
  4. More bakery failures! When we were in Paris a couple of years ago I had a list of 5 specific patisseries I wanted to visit. All 5 has already closed for the summer, one the day before we made it there. Apparently bakeries in Montreal are closed on Mondays. D'oh! I still managed to find a delicious pain au chocolat though so all was well.
  5. I would live there. The city is beautiful and lively and friendly and easy to navigate. If not for my loathing of humidity I'd be all over this place.

All in all, a fairly enjoyable Canadian vacation.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Blogging - Ottawa Style

Tomorrow I leave for another exciting Canadian city but I thought I should do an Ottawa overview for your reading pleasure.

1. I have 7 blisters on my feet. I bought new shoes. And then walked to a different province in them! That's a total rookie traveler mistake and one I should be old enough to know better to avoid. It has put a bit of a damper on things for me because I mostly want to lie on benches and whine now.

2. I ate at The Works (and I had to take 2 buses to get there)! It was pretty good, but probably only 1 bus good.

3. I popped into the Chateau Laurier to poo (because when you need to do a #2 on the road, don't you want to do it at a 4 star Fairmont hotel?). Aside from it being a nice hotel I got to see my MP in action. He was nattering to some media dudes about the environment or something. I don't really know, I couldn't really hear him. It was just exciting to see my elected official doing something.

4. I saw 2 mediocre shows and 1 really great show at Magnetic North. Not bad for a festival by my standards. We managed to get an extra show in because I forgot we were actually here for 4 nights, not 3.

5. I got to stay in a boy apartment. It's interesting seeing how the other half live. There's less comfortable furniture but more beer. A fair trade I think.

I think I'll give Ottawa 3.5 stars out of 5. But the blisters may be unfairly skewing my ranking. I may have to revise that once my tender tootsies have healed.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

My summer horoscope

I signed up for a free subscription to Elle Canada with a coupon in a box of Cheerios. It is truly an astoundingly bad magazine with some of the worst writing I have ever seen in a magazine. But today, I would like to do a critique of the special summer horoscope.

I hate horoscopes with a fierce and blinding passion. This particular horoscope nearly sent me into a frenzy last night.

Some years are memorable: consider 1989/1990, 1996/1997 and 2003/2004. These have meaning for you.

Who can't find something memorable in a six year time span?? I was 11/12, 18/19 and 25/26 in that date range. I can pick out several memorable things that happened in those years. But who couldn't?!?!? Memorable things probably happen every year for people, if you stop to think about it.

Similarly, 2009/2010 is another turning point. This year wields a double-edged sword: in one way, it's fabulous! Love affairs, romance and opportunities for exciting vacations, plus playful, rewarding times with children, are sources of joy. Your social scene is wired! Parties, fun invitations and events in the arts or sports are a bonus and will continue into 2010. (yay me!)

What? My life is fabulous and awesome and I'm popular and do lots of things?! Well, this must be the truth! Let's look past the bad grammar and just say, again with the really long time frame? I mean, who doesn't get invited to at least one social event in the span of a calendar year? Who doesn't have the opportunity for vacations? We're talking about people with the financial wherewithal to purchase a magazine and isn't an opportunity just something that might happen?

However, since 2007 you've had to give up people, places and possessions; it has been a sobering experience. Some important relationships have ended; some losses were major and painful. For some of you, it has been a journey through the dark night of the soul.

I have made sacrifices this year! And yes, in a two year period, inevitably some thing has changed. How ever did they know that my life is not exactly what it was like over two years ago?

By the end of October you will slowly enter a huge new era of your life. November and December are the debut to what lies ahead between now and 2018.

Wait a second. What exactly do you mean by slowly? And what exactly do you mean by debut? And, well, it just seems obvious that something lies between now and 2018. I mean, that's a 9 year time span.

In this stretch of time, you will redefine your values, your relationships, probably your job and even where you live. It's all up for grabs.

It's all up for grabs, eh? So I might do those things, but I might decide not to grab. Aren't we always refining our values as new information becomes available and we have new experiences? Don't relationships evolve over time? Don't people change their jobs every 5 years nowadays??? Hold on a second! This horoscope is maddeningly vague!!!

It's time for the birth of the new - and improved - you.

Oh, but I do want to be a better person and do more fabulous things. I'm so sorry I doubted you horoscope. You're right. In 9 short years, I will be a better person, just you wait and see!

Mantra: I will never again be as young as I am today

uh, yeah. Thanks Elle Canada. Thanks for that glib piece of advice. Fortunately, for us all, I doubt that you'll be around 9 years from now to see if I have indeed succeeded in becoming a new - and improved - me.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Is that a green thumb?

So the truth is that I've never managed to keep a plant alive for longer than a plant will stay alive whilst being utterly neglected. In fact, I normally think of houseplants the same way I think of flowers. I buy them, they look pretty for awhile, they die, I replace them. And really, a houseplant will stay alive with hardly any care for months sometimes so financially I feel it works out for me. Though I guess it doesn't work out so well for the plants.

But I am a homeowner now. And thus I must do homeowner-y things like actually change the furnace filter and scrub in those obnoxious corners between the toilet and the tub in the bathroom.

This summer I decided that I would try planting things outside! Of course, as you can see, I don't really have a backyard per se.


I have a lovely deck, a strip of pine trees and evergreen bushes (to the right) growing out of a mountain of woodchips and then a little stubby patch of grass (to the left) where nothing will grow due to the large tree adjacent to the deck.

Neither Mr. Rose or myself are particularly interested in doing a lot of yard work so this set up is perfect for us. And one day we will be extra homeowner-y and put a patio down on that scrubby patch of grass thereby eliminating the need to mow any sort of lawn. Then we'll be living the dream.

Anyways, I decided to plant things in pots on the deck. Seems more low maintenance anyways. So, the point of this somewhat rambly post, is....ta da! Here is my garden:

In my mind it seemed so much more epic. It was a lot of work to plant those six little pots of flowers. Two trips to a garden centre, numerous strings of curse words, one dead bee incident, one slipper throwing incident, and a very sore back.
I think my only question is, how long do the plants have to live for me to be considered a gardener?