Monday, August 31, 2009

I Wore a Hat!

This past weekend I received an award. Which I had to accept in front of a crowd of 200 (ish). I was so nervous all night (of course it was almost at the end of a 2 hour awards ceremony) that I both felt like vomiting and peeing my pants for most of the evening (the nervous pee's are the worst).

The oh so talented Mr. Rose helped me craft my acceptance speech and I practiced it twice in the car and yet when I was on stage I was still so nervous that my entire body was vibrating.

On the car ride home I was musing about why on earth I get so nervous on stage. I speak in front of people all the time. I deliver presentations to groups of strangers, I do media interviews (print, radio, tv, pre-recorded, live, you name it), I just don't have a problem with public speaking.

But being on stage is horrifying for me. I have acted in a show once. I was a last minute replacement in a 5 minute sketch and I didn't stop being vomitously nervous until the final performance.

After much musing I did finally figure it out. The difference is stage lights. When I deliver workshops or presentations, I can see the people I'm talking to. I can make eye contact and alter my delivery to suit the mood of the crowd. In a media interview I'm ultimately talking to the person interviewing me. And a camera lens is different than a crowd because it's more like talking to a piece of furniture.

But there is something about the indiscernible crowd that completely wigs me out. I know that there are people out there but I have no idea how they're reacting to me. And for some reason I find that terrifying.

Most people with public speaking issues are the other way around. They can talk to a crowd with lights in their eyes exactly because they can't see the people.

The gist? I have no gist. Just sharing a little Lady Rose moment with y'all. And I wanted the opportunity to share this photo with you. I think I finally managed to pull off the wearing of a hat:


Meg said...

Hotness!! You rocked that hat, Lady!

post-fab princess said...

Lookitchu!! Agree re. the hotness!! Did your award happen to be for mega awesome hatwearing? Or a lesser, yet still important community service type thing? tee hee (:

Lady Buttons said...

Congratulations on 1) the award; 2) not vomiting while accepting the award; and 3) rocking all four corners of that hat's ass. From one lady to another, you look fab, dahlink!

Sterling Lynch said...

Great insight!

Lady Rose said...

I think if there was an award for hat wearing, I totally would have won it. Instead it was a moderately dull community contribution type of award.

But back to the hat! I actually own 3 hats because I buy hats thinking that they look fab but then chicken out of actually wearing them in public.

I think I may have finally conquered that fear!

日月神教-向左使 said...