Monday, March 22, 2010

Let's talk about...


I conducted an informal poll recently. I was conversing with someone a few weeks ago about some problems they were having with their partner. They were only having sex twice a month or so. This someone was essentially asking me what I thought 'normal' was. Was it 'normal' to only have sex twice a month?

Then I was talking to another someone and I posed them the question. Shocking right? People are usually so unwilling to divulge their number. Anyways, this person felt that 2 - 5 times per week was standard in his/her relationship.

Then today I queried some co-workers. I can get away with this because I work in the field of sexual health and everyone knows I just had a miscarriage and is thus being really, really irritatingly nice to me. The answers on what people thought was 'normal' ranged from once per week up to seven times per week. (This is all 'normal' for people in a relationship)

So, it seems like my twice per month someone is out of luck...based on how people are willing to answer the 'how often do you' question. Then it struck me that it wasn't just idle curiosity that brought on my random surveying.

I have either been pregnant or trying to get pregnant for about 18 months now. I feel like I have completely lost touch with what a normal sex life looks like. We've spent months doing it (desire be damned) because the 'timing' was right or not doing it (desire be damned again) because throwing up does not, in fact, make for good foreplay. Of course there have still been times when our stars have aligned and we've been able to get funky just because we felt like it but for the most part sex has become a business in our household.

So what is my 'normal'? I honestly have no idea. But I can freely admit that I'm not looking forward to this next round of business time. To cheer myself up, I watch this video:


Meg said...

Hmm. I think that as long as both parties are getting enough - be it that you're not climbing the walls or constantly irritated from too much business time - then you're doing okay!

Excuse me now while I go ride my magical sparkling unicorn and spew fairy dust in a trail behind me to magic sex life land.

Lady Rose said...

Damn you unmarried couples and your fairy dust blessed sex lives!